April 11th, 2005 was a Monday. After months of awkward silence, where I was desperate to understand what was happening under my roof, and hearing almost nothing, he asked me to have a conversation with him that evening. It’s odd when your family looks the same, but the foundation has been rocked, is likely crumbling, …
Precious Mind, Precious Child
If you’re late for work and your young child refuses to put on her shoes, what happens in your brain? Do you think, “If I don’t get her shoes on, we’ll be late getting out the door. If we’re late getting out the door, I’ll be late getting her to daycare. And I’ll be late …
Doin’ it right
“There’s no cracks in the outside foundation,” they said. “Well, if it was the window leaking, it would be running down the drywall…and it’s not, so it’s not the window,” they said. “It doesn’t seem like there is a standing water issue outside by the building,” they said. It was almost like they were trying …
Parenting, Vulnerability, and Blame
I remember my brother-in-law talking about driving his wife and brand new baby home from the hospital. He said he was nervous. And tentative. And he thought about every turn of the wheel leading to a potential car crash, and he babied the gas pedal like a nervous grandma. Suddenly every car on the road …
Letter to Car: On your crapiversary
Today is the anniversary of your death–which I think is much more appropriately known as the “crapiversary” of your death. You didn’t want “to leave the party early”, and so death was most unwelcome, even as it was accepted peacefully as you looked forward to the life hereafter. I remember how devastating your death was …
A Thought: Just be his best friend
Photo credit: Trinity Western University Trinity Western University Men’s Volleyball team won the national finals this weekend. They are the top university volleyball team in the country this week…and 6 weeks ago they were struggling to make the playoffs. They have a young team–only one athlete was in his final year. They got to a …
Leadership, Loyalty, and My Very Good Luck
Preface…I (Carolyn) wrote recently about the great team I work with every day at Bergen and Associates Counselling…and I used a story of Lindsey as an example of the quality of people I interact with. A solid team of therapists that supports and builds each other up, makes for better therapy for clients, I think. …
Affirmation: You’re Good Trouble
I love my work. I love it for lots of reasons that I’ve written about before–the clients I see humble me with their courage and stun me with their growth. I am often surprised by joy as we work through the difficult stuff of life. I also love it because it is a place where …
Hope for Parenting in a Fast-Moving World Part 3
Alternate Working Title: Slow Down, Tune In, Be There Here’s a sad fact: Your kids might not feel your love deep in their bones. No matter how much you do for them, or how much you tell them you love them, they might not feel it. How can we expect them to feel our love? …
Bursting the Bubble of Safety–Forgiving and Grieving
I spoke to Lauren McNabb from Global Television yesterday and she asked me the question that parents all over the city are asking, “Do we as parents need to talk to our children about the death of Cooper Nemeth?” I kinda got the feeling like she wanted me to say, “No, we should not acknowledge …