April 11th, 2005 was a Monday. After months of awkward silence, where I was desperate to understand what was happening under my roof, and hearing almost nothing, he asked me to have a conversation with him that evening. It’s odd when your family looks the same, but the foundation has been rocked, is likely crumbling, …
FAQ’s about forgiveness
Seriously, you’re gonna write about forgiveness? You’re gonna make me feel bad for how I angry and upset I am. I already feel bad enough! How dare you! Yeah, I get that. Living in a state of enormous hurt and pain after someone has hurt you, often with anger and resentment, that’s bad enough. But …
FAQ’s about Apologizing
The first of a series on apologies and forgiveness… Even when it is totally obvious that s/he has messed up, my mother/husband/friend/child has huge trouble apologizing. It drives me crazy. Why is it so hard to apologize? Apologizing is hard. Absolutely. Apologizing takes courage, because it puts a person in a vulnerable space to apologize. …
Redemptive Suffering
Sometimes a conference is just a conference. Sometimes, a conference pokes pretty deep. Today–well, I got poked. Deep. I attended the Storyline Conference this week, hosted by Donald Miller. He has written one of my favourite books, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years…something I wrote about several times almost 3 years ago when I …
The Betrayal of Disengagement
If this blog interests you, you might want to grab a copy of my book that includes this idea in one of the chapters. It is the second, enhanced edition of the popular My marriage is almost dead and my husband doesn’t get it. Available in kindle or paperback form on Amazon: Disengagement…the silent, slippery …
Beautiful and Beastly: Thoughts on Social Media – Part 2
Part 1 of this two-part series on the pros and pitfalls of social media highlighted some of the benefits of using various mediums to stay connected to – or in extraordinary cases – begin connecting with people who we hold dear in our lives. And yet social media has some darker sides, too. There was …
Infidelity survivor group–Join us?
The raw, savage pain of betrayal by one’s life partner is something that can hardly be witnessed. Experiencing the pain of knowing that the one who committed his/her life to you was in the arms of another is something that can have a person feeling: like one is going to literally “lose it”/”go crazy” …
All for a Loveless Night
She spends her night alone Crying for what he had done Had broken her heart for good Hardly believing that he could throw it …. All for a loveless night Only one careless night He finds himself losing through it all All for a loveless night Steve Bell All for a Loveless Night …
Interrupting the imperceptible slide into infidelity
A week ago I blogged about the imperceptible, irresistible slide into infidelity. Part 1 then…then life happened…part 2 now. One of the funnest parts of my job is working with couples about to get married. They don’t come in with relationship problems…they come in because they know that premarital counselling is a great idea. On …
The Imperceptible, Irresistible Slide into Infidelity Part 1
I’ve worked extensively with couples in the immediate, devastating, agonizing aftermath of the discovery of an affair. It’s hard to watch the couple come in…one whose world has been rocked at its very foundations…puffy eyes, a bit of a lostness/wildness about them…and one often very contrite, with poor eye contact, having violated their own moral …