Alternate Working Title:
Slow Down, Tune In, Be There
Here’s a sad fact: Your kids might not feel your love deep in their bones. No matter how much you do for them, or how much you tell them you love them, they might not feel it.
How can we expect them to feel our love? The world is spinning so fast. And boredom has become enemy number one. Many kids live in a world of perpetual distraction.
And parents are often just as hyper and distracted. So, it’s no wonder so many kids’ nervous systems are out of whack. Rather than being with their children, parents are spending time with their tablets and smart phones.
Or they helicopter parent and encourage their child to fear the world around them.
Luckily, us parents can do a lot to slow down the world our kids live in. And to soothe their nervous systems.
What would it be like if we gave our children the gentle space where they can feel the soft and quiet feeling of love?
Here’s my suggestion for those of us who have the pleasure of living with our kids:
Take a bit of time every day to sit back for a bit. Then go roam around your home. Hang out in kids’ doorways. Join them, if welcome. If not, sit a little more in your favourite chair. Twiddle your thumbs. If you have a partner, go bug/hug her/him. Listen for stirring trouble. Go pre-empt a fight, if need be. Suggest living room yoga with a kid who seems listless or wanting attention.
Tell me a story!
When a child is deeply focused on something, hover unobtrusively. Be prepared to show interest without commentary.
Practice being rejected.
After all, you will be rejected, sometimes. Tuning in to people is nearly the lamest thing in modern society. Doing nothing is even lamer. By tuning in and doing nothing you are siding yourself with lameness.
If you want to be cool, turn on the tv; log into facebook; play a video game; stare at your smartphone for another hour.
Those things are cool.