Expansion of life through loss

Exactly two dozen years ago today was the very worst day of my entire life. No, that’s not melodramatic. That’s the absolute truth. That was the day that I found out that the little, precious lives inside of me had ended. Mine may as well have ended too…or so I thought at the time. I had …

Beautiful truths

Anne Lamott gave a beautiful TED talk recently. I love TED…but wow, sometimes it exceeds my already high expectations. Wow!! Regular readers know how much I love TED generally…and when it’s Anne Lamott…well…who can resist?     I love how Anne gently and wryly speaks truth…sharing of her own beautiful, messy, now-sober, grace-filled experience to …

TEDx Winnipeg 2017

I love TED…I love listening to “ideas worth spreading”. TED has changed little things in my life: the way I tie my shoes, my posture before I go onstage for speaking at a public event the way I dry my hands in a public restroom TED also has changed my life in a fundamental way. …

“Fault?” Not relevant!

I often hear someone refusing to come to counselling because they don’t have the problem: “If I’m not the rebellious one, why would I need counselling?” “He’s the one that drinks, not me.  He needs counselling, not me!” “My wife is the one that lost her parents in the accident. I don’t need help.” “The …

10 Rules of Engagement

If you enjoy this blog, you may enjoy the book I wrote that covers topics like this one: Husband and I love each other, but we don’t always see eye to eye. We have to sort out disagreement and differences of opinion and perceived and actual slights just like anybody else. I don’t like it when …

Oops! A Therapist forgets empathy

A few weeks ago, Husband’s finger lingered over the “send” button on a text.  For a looong time, his finger hovered over the message. We had talked about it.  We had together decided on a course of action with a family member. And now, he was doing his part of the implementation, and as we sat on …

We’re a pair…of Levi’s

Dear Husband, Two years ago this week, we put the Gerber daisies on the tables, and set up the volleyball nets in the gym. The friends we invited came, and the relatives we invited but didn’t think would come came too and gathered around as we exchanged vows of commitment to each other.  Our kids …

Prince Harry on Talking

    When Prince Harry says, “When I offload my stuff to somebody else, I feel so much better, ” he speaks from first hand knowledge.  He wasn’t always that way, and he understand the value of talking in ways that only those who have stuffed their feelings for decades first can understand. He tells …

If it ain’t working for you…

**This letter, one of our most popular blog posts of all times is now a chapter in a new book, Nice to a Fault, Redefining Kindness in Marriage…now available on kindle or in paperback. If it ain’t working for you, it ain’t working for anybody! Dear Wives-who-are-lonely, I wrote to your husbands recently in a …

Does your wife impact your life?

**This blog is now a chapter in a book that expands on the ideas in this blog, Nice to a Fault: Redefining Kindness in Marriage. While it is written to women, men will receive an inside look at the struggles of women in ways that will illuminate an understanding of the issues. It might just …