Carolyn here: Michael Quiring, one of the therapists here, is one of my favourite people. His dad has been struggling…I’vbeen asking him about his dad’s health for years. Michael’s dad became acutely ill a few weeks ago. I spoke to him early last week…the situation was grave, and the odds were stacked against recovery, but his dad …
Before it’s too late
I was talking recently to some of my colleagues about couples therapy. One of the topics that came up was the reluctance of one partner to hear the other spouse’s pain…and do something about it. Sometimes, when couples come to therapy, we ask the couples which one is the “draggee” in therapy, and one the …
A letter to a potential client: Yep, therapy is hard
If you find this article helpful, might I invite you to consider reading the book? It’s a big decision to decide to go to therapy, and so don’t dismiss (or grab) it lightly. Make a thoughtful decision–notice your resistance and be curious about it. Work it through thoughtfully. Available on Amazon in softcover and kindle …
Comforting Power of a Parent
So, parenting is hard, eh? Brutal. Some days, you gotta wonder if all your efforts matter. If you matter. Some days, we as parents mess up, screw up, yell too much, micro manage, over-parent, under-parent, can’t-play-dressy-up-even-one-more-time, or use the screen as a babysitter in an all together unsatisfying way. But we always got something our …
Inside Out’s Flaw: Male Vulnerability is really real
Therapist Heather Pringle writes… Are men allowed to feel sad feelings and let others know they are sad? What if we lived in a world that allowed men to express that sadness to each other in ways that helped them each feel less alone? In one scene of the movie Inside Out, we get to see …
Hump Day Nudge: Great Dads
“My name’s dad…and proud of it…all dads should be.” {! social/video/youtube?url=http%3A//youtu.be/6GYxH2-WeZY !} I love peanut butter. But I’m not at all sure about mixing peanut butter and Cheerios. I am completely sure that this is the sort of dad that is inspiring… I think it’s something about the encouragement, empowerment, boundaries, playfulness, affirmation towards his …
6 Facts about Mental Health and Money
How does mental health and money intersect? Well, so glad you asked! As I’ve been doing some reading and listening lately, the topic of a person’s relationship to money and how that impacts the relationship to themselves and others has come up lately. What I’ve discovered is this: 1. A minimum amount of money is …
Life Opportunity #3: Express your feelings
I recently spoke to a group of young adults (and their teachers/family/friends) at their high school graduation. I’ve written beforeabout Bronnie Ware’s The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying. These themes are also echoed within the walls of our therapy offices at Bergen and Associates every day, and whispered to each other in The Daring Way™ groups that I offer regularly. And I …
Why men hide their truest selves
This blog post is not for the faint of heart. While it is not intended to offend, I suspect that it will make some folks uncomfortable. The following video starts off with offensive language. It’s not cool. It’s a short video, though and if you stop watching it before the end of it’s 2 minute …
Men making friends
Guys have a lot of fun together. Guys enjoy each other’s company. Guys eat, drink, burp and so much more with each other. But are they friends? A friend is someone you share mutual affection with. A confidant. Intimacy is a part of friendship. In our culture, too often authentic, meaningful friendship has been feminized. …