I want you to think of the last time somebody was angry at you. What were they angry about? Did you actually intend to hurt them? If so, why was it important to hurt them? If not, what did they not understand about you? Maybe you were late for lunch with a friend, but there …
Walking me home
Three years ago, on the September long weekend, I left my Junior Tribe Member at the West Coast. I’ve written before about how I had dreaded the beginning of university for my youngest JTM. It might be irrational, but I felt that after a decade of being a single mom, I was feeling like I was …
Controlled Separation: A Marriage Coma
The ideas in the article were included in my book, as a part of my passion to help people make their marriages better. Finding ways to change destructive patterns are important…sometimes, small changes can make a big difference. Sometimes, a big change is required to open space for the important shifts that are needed. For …
The lunch that started something beautiful
I will always remember Sunday lunch of the August long weekend with special fondness. It was the start of a somethin-somethin with Husband and I…though it wasn’t nearly the start of our romance. Husband’s wife, Car had died in late winter. In the months leading to her death, I had asked Car’s sister of how she …
“Fault?” Not relevant!
I often hear someone refusing to come to counselling because they don’t have the problem: “If I’m not the rebellious one, why would I need counselling?” “He’s the one that drinks, not me. He needs counselling, not me!” “My wife is the one that lost her parents in the accident. I don’t need help.” “The …
10 Rules of Engagement
If you enjoy this blog, you may enjoy the book I wrote that covers topics like this one: Husband and I love each other, but we don’t always see eye to eye. We have to sort out disagreement and differences of opinion and perceived and actual slights just like anybody else. I don’t like it when …
Oops! A Therapist forgets empathy
A few weeks ago, Husband’s finger lingered over the “send” button on a text. For a looong time, his finger hovered over the message. We had talked about it. We had together decided on a course of action with a family member. And now, he was doing his part of the implementation, and as we sat on …
We’re a pair…of Levi’s
Dear Husband, Two years ago this week, we put the Gerber daisies on the tables, and set up the volleyball nets in the gym. The friends we invited came, and the relatives we invited but didn’t think would come came too and gathered around as we exchanged vows of commitment to each other. Our kids …
If it ain’t working for you…
**This letter, one of our most popular blog posts of all times is now a chapter in a new book, Nice to a Fault, Redefining Kindness in Marriage…now available on kindle or in paperback. If it ain’t working for you, it ain’t working for anybody! Dear Wives-who-are-lonely, I wrote to your husbands recently in a …
Does your wife impact your life?
**This blog is now a chapter in a book that expands on the ideas in this blog, Nice to a Fault: Redefining Kindness in Marriage. While it is written to women, men will receive an inside look at the struggles of women in ways that will illuminate an understanding of the issues. It might just …