January: Divorce or “Marriage Checkup” Month??

January is known as “Divorce Month”…a month when there is an increase in calls to lawyers from couples seeking to end their marriage. YIKES! January is also known as Marriage Health Month for couple counsellors and the couples we work with. It is our experience over the last decade and more that we have been operating as …

Looking back…the first year

Husband and I have been married a year. A year of being Husband and Wife. A year of being two families who are also one family. Lessons learned: 1. Single people can work late, and pick up sushi on the way home, much easier than married people who have a houseful of people. Marriage definitely …

April 11

April 11th, 2005 was a Monday, too. After months of awkward silence, where I was desperate to understand what was happening under my roof, and hearing almost nothing, he asked me to have a conversation with him that evening. It’s odd when your family looks the same, but the foundation has been rocked, is likely …

Love’s Legacy

Husband and I are part of a care group…a bunch of folks who have decided to intentionally do life together. We meet for a dinner once a month. We ask each other honest questions and have candid conversations. We share of love and life and faith and care for each other.  We pray for one another. …

Take note: Notes

Men…take note: Write notes They don’t have to be fancy.  They don’t have to be long. They just have to show her you thought of her. We all struggle with the feeling of not feeling good enough, of not being lovable.  Part of our heads know otherwise, but a little reassurance goes a long way. …

Before it’s too late

I was talking recently to some of my colleagues about couples therapy. One of the topics that came up was the reluctance of one partner to hear the other spouse’s pain…and do something about it. Sometimes, when couples come to therapy, we ask the couples which one is the “draggee” in therapy, and one the …

Visiting my husband’s wife’s grave

It wasn’t an easy decision for our experience of love after heartbreaking loss being on the national stage in the Globe and Mail. We thought long and hard about sharing this story. The back story of our decision, the picture featured in the article, and another perspective of the same shot, from an entirely different angle: Composting Heartbreak …

Introducing…Carolyn Klassen

This is not your typical “introducing our newest therapist/intern” blog.  I’m introducing me…my new name. Same therapist…different name.  Used to be Carolyn Bergen. Now…Carolyn Klassen. I got married in April.  And when I got home from my honeymoon, I was still a Bergen… You see, I got a whole new pack of Junior Tribe Members …