Bonding science says the biggest factor in the quality of your sex relationship is the safety of your emotional connection of the person you are making love with. Dr. Sue Johnson At Conexus Counselling (formerly Bergen and Associates Counselling), most of us have additional training in the research and theory of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). …
Stopping the world to listen
“Baby, when you hurt, the world stops and I listen and try to understand and empathize. I’m not going to leave you in pain. I’m there for you.” Dr. John Gottman, on the key sentiment of successful couples I can remember a few moments where it became clear that he was the one I wanted …
Were you happy single?
A few weeks before my April wedding, a professional woman who I’d recently gotten to know asked me, “Were you happy being single?” I floundered for a response and babbled on in a scrambled fashion for a few minutes and then finally had the insight to ask her, “Where does that question come from?” And …
Big birds in small cages
Sigh…summer is such a beautiful time isn’t it? And with it comes altered schedules…Carolyn’s writing routine is off and she will be returning to regular writing on the blog soon. For now, another beautiful blog by therapist and writer, Sabrina Friesen… I’ve always been a word girl, finding solace in the words of others and …
On Being Loved: both in spite of and because of ourselves
Love is a burning thing. I really think ol’ Johnny Cash was on to something there. When I work with folks and we talk about love, I often mention how good love is–you know, the kind that leaves us feeling full up and just good right down to our toes, that kind of love is …
Tale of a Wedding Part 3
I respected him before I knew him, and liked him as a human being before I loved him as more. He is someone I have fun with, am supported by, and challenges me. In him was a man I couldn’t imagine being without. He is someone I want to invest in, and make his life …
Tale of a Wedding Part 2
At a wedding we usually talk about the wedding bands being a perfect circle, with no beginning and no end. But we all know that these rings do have a beginning. Rock is dug up from the earth. Metal is liquefied in a furnace, then molded, and painstakingly polished. Something beautiful is made out of …
Tale of a Wedding Part 1
Life took an incredibly sharp right turn for me this last winter when I met the man who is so special and so supportive and so loving and so kind I can’t imagine spending my life without him. He’s one of those men who has loved and was loved well in the past…a long and …
A letter to Car: me
Dear Carolyn, A letter to Carolyn, from Carolyn. That can sorta catch people off guard, including me. Why do we have to have the same name?!! It’s wonderful to be in love and getting married. I’m loving my life, excited about my future, and planning details of a wedding to the man of my dreams. …
The Ring
I’ve been on my own for about 10 years now. I remember the first week I was alone rather like a blur…or maybe rather, I don’t really remember it at all. I wasn’t sleeping; I had lost weight; I was just putting one foot in front of the other. My friends were supportive and were …