This is not a fancy metaphor about looking up, this is not like “how life is”, this is not me making something bad all cheerful in a way that denies the crap of life. I think that there are times when the cup is not half full, and there is no bright side. It doesn’t always have to look pretty. This is just me enjoying a light moment in a dark day when I share this.
Very recently, I went out for lunch with a friend. A good friend. It had been too long since we’d really had a “heart to heart” which we did that day. It was good to be together. But it also wasn’t good. It was awful. The friend shared gut wrenching, heart breaking stories that made me want to wretch…stories that filled in gaps in what had been a painful part in both of our lives.
I was feeling a little numb at the end of lunch, dumbstruck by what I had heard. A good lunch with a good friend, connecting meaningfully, but around tough stuff.
As we were walking back to the office, we saw this in front of us…I usually don’t have the presence of mind to take pictures of cool moments like this, but I was “on the ball” in the moment and got this:
The day continued with the heaviness and the wretching feeling didn’t leave. It was a hard coupla days after. But in that moment, my buddy and I looked at each other and LAUGHED! Genuine laughter–these guys were fun! We chatted with them for just a moment, but it provided such relief, even for a moment.
And then they were gone…we turned the corner and they kept walking straight. It was only a few seconds, but the pleasure in their silliness was heightened because of the spinning confusion I had been in and would be in again. But in that moment, I wasn’t confused…I was back on firm footing, fully present in the biting chill of the day, grabbing the camera and catching the delighted sparkle eye of my friend as we slowed down enough to stay behind them, and enjoy the sight. The world righted itself, and I could remember goodness for a flash in time.
The sight didn’t take away from the yuck. It didn’t make it better. But it provided this magical moment of respite from the conversation and it’s pain. When I remember the lunch, I will remember the devastating stories and being ambushed by unexpected tales, but I will also remember being surprised by joy.
This doesn’t always happen in the middle of the “ick”. Doesn’t even usually or sometimes happen. But it happened this time.
And I’ll take it.
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