My computer is down…I’m struggling not to feel like I have lost my right arm and am working to get proper perspective on things. I use it to communicate with so many personally, at the counselling office, and at the university. I use it to remind me of what is coming up next, and what I have to get ready for. I use it to prepare documents, and generally get my work done. I’m feeling a little lost.
My computer is actually able to work well…except it can’t right now. Let me explain.
I’m not computer savvy, but it isn’t rocket science to notice that my battery wasn’t recharging when I plugged the computer in to charge. I assumed it was the cord. The cord must be broken.
So I borrowed Melanie, the receptionist’s cord to charge it until I could go get a new cord.
It wasn’t the cord. Hers cord didn’t work either–on my computer. Worked fine with her computer. Ouch.
So, I asked a colleague. He assumed it must be the battery. If its not the cord, it must be the battery, right?
Wrong. Not the battery. In a jiffy he loaded some software to check the battery, and it is working fine.
The geniuses at the Genius Bar at the Apple Store found the problem. (Confident bunch at the Apple Store to call themselves geniuses. Just saying.) It is the connection between the cord and the computer that isn’t working…so I wait for a logic board. (They tell me they are working hard to get this fast…it seems they were quite familiar with the slightly wild look that can appear in someone’s eyes when they find out that a computer isn’t operational, and are quite calmly reassuring they will expedite things–I’m sure they spend their days calming the anxieties of frantic people–maybe even tell each person that they are taking their situation very seriously to fix it ASAP–good on them. They understand the importance of reassurance)**
The cord works, the battery works…the main guts of the computer works. But the connection between the parts is interrupted, and the whole thing doesn’t work. Reminds me of some couples I’ve worked with.
She’s a wonderful person and wants it to work. He’s a great guy and works at it too. But the connection between the two of them is interrupted, and the whole thing just goes sideways.
Or backwards.
Or downhill.
And it hurts when something that used to be as meaningful and purposeful as a right arm, now feels worse than useless.
It was my default to blame the cord or the battery–didn’t it make sense that the problem would be at one end or the other. (I didn’t know there was a middle!) Not unlike couples, who, when there is a problem blame the other for the problems…they don’t often realize that there is a middle–an intangible but vitally important connection that needs maintaining, attention, and sometimes, repair.
When there is a problem, it’s easy to blame the other…you know you are trying hard. You know you are not trying to create problems. You know you are well intentioned…so it’s default to assume when there are problems to think responsibility lies with the other end of the relationship.
How is the logic board of your marriage? (Did you even know you had a logic-board equivalent in your couple relationship?) Rather than point your finger at your partner, why don’t both of you take a deep breath, calm yourselves and look at the connection that exists between the two of you? (And if you need some extra help, please call a therapist in your area).
And, if you sent me an email in the last day or two, please know that I’ll get caught up as soon as the connection is fully operational again! 😉
**The Mac people really live up to their word. They had it ready sooner than I expected and it’s working great. Connection repaired!
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