Wise words can come from unexpected places–and then be unexpectedly valuable.
I was at a memorial service on Saturday…
the second of January…a time when we are all thinking about new starts and fresh, more effective ways of doing things. It was ironic to attend a memorial service—a celebration of a life just ended—to be reminded about how to move forward, but that is just what happened.
During the service, L.’s brother-in-law told us about her life. After he told us about the family she left behind, the contributions she made to family, friends and those with whom she worked (which were significant), he closed with an email she had sent to family and friends a while ago. L had been fighting cancer for some time and she said:
Tonight I was over at a friend’s house whose balcony overlooks the river. It was beautiful. She had a friend there I have meet before. She has had serious health issues as well so it was nice to talk for a while.
I realized an issue that people sometimes ask me is “what have you learnt or what are you learning about this experience in your life?”
There are many things. A few of them are:
– The first thing is to give up the illusion I have that “I” am in control of my life and trust God to control and work out everything that happens to me. Remember he will not let you be tested beyond what you can handle.
– The second thing has more to do with priorities. “Don’t sweat the small stuff”–money, material things, petty arguments. The things for me to focus on are “the big stuff”- my relationship with God, my relationships with family & friends (without either of these 3 relationships I would not have the strength to do this), my purpose in life, my healing either here or in heaven, and the many people who come in and out of my life.
– I have also learned that each day is a precious gift and we should be thankful we have them.
In the past I have had broken relationships with people and now that I am sick I realize how important these people would have been for recovery. I thank God daily that he continues to provide new/old friends when I need them the most.
Another thing I have learned and nobody who knows me will be surprised at this–a sense of humor goes a long way to make a bad situation a little more bearable. So yes I am still laughing which strengthens me and makes me more optimistic in some ways….
Thank-you all for the little and big ways you are affecting my life. You are all very special to me as I continue my journey.
Take care, L
I remember the writer, Robert Fulghum said in one of his books that he found it valuable to visit the site where he would be buried some day…it was a chance to take stock of his life, remember what was important, remember that his lifetime was finite. Being aware of these motivated him to make meaningful choices. When he left his gravesite, he found himself better able to live a fuller and more meaningful life
So it was a personal treat for me to hear L’s words…someone who was aware her days were numbered, and could remind those of us still here of what was seen as important to her given this valuable view that she had. She gave me a check-in similar to what Robert Fulghum’s, through which I can start 2010 in a way that has the reality of the end give cause to correct my priorities now.
Thanx, L, for your wisdom and for what you gave to so many in you life. Thanx for the way you made relationships with friends and family a priority, and for the richness that gave to the people in your life.
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