The real cradle that holds the baby is the emotional climate between new parents. Many significant social problems [like violence] in our society can be traced back to this negative emotional climate in families. John Gottman I often tell couples who are struggling with the needs of a child who that are …
Relational Compensation…A Painful Balance
So…what happens when you put a cold mama and a hot junior tribe member in a Honda? Nope, this is not the beginning of some corny joke. It’s life in my household. A coupla times in the last coupla weeks, I found myself in a situation where I am running around doing errands, in and …
The Raising of a Mother
Parenting demands more love, more patience, more endurance that I would have thought possible. Mothering involves sleepless nights and cleaning up puke, restlessly trying to break a little one’s fever, talking to a teacher that has hurt a little one, phoning a doctor’s office to advocate for month’s sooner appointment even after they said it …
Parenting Perspective
I had a choice the other day when one of the junior members of my tribe asked me to join him for a bowl of popcorn and a show we both enjoy. My temptation was to say that it didn’t work…we were moving our office. That meant that I was doing a bunch of things …
Building Gratitude in Kids–An all round winner
Stumbled across a video the other day, which reminded me of the value of instilling a sense of thankfulness in our children. I remember talking with a junior member of my tribe years ago when they were at the stage where they could utter only single words or short sentences…and in speech only a mother …
Loving them first
Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day…a day celebrating love. Often we think of it as only celebrating romantic love within a couple…I’ve had a number of conversations that have me celebrating the love parents have for their children. This week, in various ways, I have been reminded of an important truth…that the love parents have for their …
Owning it and Fixing it
I blew it the other day. I was frustrated, tired, angry, and hungry…and when one of the junior members of my tribe made a mistake, I didn’t handle it well. He did something that indicated he was a normal adolescent who forgets that there are other members of the household…he looked after himself. That’s what …
mundane magical love story
I used to have days where I thought the crumbs on the kitchen counter multiplied prolifically on their own whenever I turned my back. Crumbs on the counter were a slow form of torture for me…signifying the work of running a household that would never be completed… …could never be completed because the household was …
Living on Borrowed Time
I went for a walk on Sunday…a long luxurious walk through the neighborhood looking at the front gardens and late autumn woods. I will go for walks throughout the year, and they will continue once the snow falls. Snow is forecast for this week. I had a sense that as I was walking along, enjoying …
Correct or Connect?
Is it your intention to connect or to correct? Parents who can define their parenting purpose or intention can help meet children’s vital needs, including stability, security, safety and guidance. What is your purpose of intention? To correct and manage your children or to connect with and enjoy them? For one week, count the number …