Think about the last time a person intimidated you…maybe he was someone you wanted to impress, or maybe he was very articulate, or maybe he was someone you really wanted to be liked by. The stakes were high…and you were scared. Quick, without thinking about it, how do you behave? I’ll tell you what many …
Marriage Rules
“Tell me what to do!!” I often get couples asking me what a healthy marriage looks like…what behaviors and strategies set them up for success. One of the questions I often ask couples is, “How do you know what you want your marriage to look like?” Increasing numbers of couples don’t have an answer …
Domestic Violence Part 3
I blogged here and here a few weeks ago about domestic violence…looking at the roots…understanding that our culture assists in shaping men’s behaviour towards violence. Gail Shaver, the therapist that works most closely with those who engage in our Transforming Destructive into Constructive-Intimate Partner Violence program reminded me that I missed something big in the …
Domestic Violence: Looking at the Root Part 2
At the end of May, a woman posted a video of Patrick Stewart, an actor best known for his role on Star Trek, speaking at Comicpalooza. I don’t know about Comic-con or Comicpalooza or any of these sorts of conventions except what I learn on Big Bang Theory. However, almost 4 million people have watched …
Domestic Violence: Looking at the Root Part 1
(photo credit to Rene Asmussen) Our culture raises men in an environment where he dare not be seen as weak, but as “tough”. The men in this culture have been raised by men who have been boxed in by the culture–to not be seen as open and gentle. Violence is accepted as a part of …
Porcupines, tenderness, sex…and men?
This quote struck me hard. I’m not a guy…that’s not rocket science. But I do work with guys. A lot. And I get to see the tender, soft parts of guys more than most women. Some women might not even know there are tender, soft parts to some of their men…but there are. Oh. Yes. …
Taking the Mask Off
There is the very real dilemma and tension of needing to put on a mask and to armor up against fear and vulnerability on the job, and then find ways of reversing that to be emotionally available to his family: The brain is affected by trauma…we know what the names of the brain are …
Too careful translates into wobbly
I rode my bike to the Smith St. office this week for the first time this year. Downtown. I wear a helmet, and yet my mother asks me if I’m safe. I’ve been an adult for a couple of decades now, and still my mother asks me if I’m safe on my bike. Apparently, mothering …
Hump Day Nudge: Someone isn’t listening
We all need to poke fun at ourselves sometimes, to laugh at ourselves in a gentle way that highlights truth in a humorous way…not to humiliate or shame ourselves, but just to invite ourselves to see things from a different angle. Hey girlfriend, if you’ve got a spouse or a male co-worker nearby who needs …
Supporting Your Team
I was at the inaugural event at the new Investor’s Group Stadium this afternoon of One Heart. Mark Hughes exhorted the assembled crowd to remember that all the churches in this city of Winnipeg are on one team, the same team…and that when the churches of Winnipeg support and work together, things become possible in …