When Prince Harry says, “When I offload my stuff to somebody else, I feel so much better, ” he speaks from first hand knowledge. He wasn’t always that way, and he understand the value of talking in ways that only those who have stuffed their feelings for decades first can understand. He tells …
3 strategies to get out of debt that aren’t about money
I blogged recently about the ways in which money/debt problems, at their root, aren’t really about money. It follows then, that the way to get out of money/debt problems isn’t about first worrying about the budgets, or debt consolidation, or developing a spreadsheet. Those things are important…but not the first line of resolution. So here …
Husband: How you make my life better
Dear Husband, Remember on the front porch a few weeks ago, the sun was streaming in, and we had fresh, steaming mugs in front of us? Remember how, as part of the morning’s conversation, you took the time to carefully and thoughtfully tell me about how I make your life better? It would have followed for …
#4 of Top 10: Imagine the Whole Game
“You’ll be an old grandpa. And I’m going to be a daddy.” – James Walsh, age 3, imagining the whole game. This post is about taking the long view and, thus, is the natural follow up to #5: Catch the Ball. In Catch the Ball we talked about the need to focus first on our …
“Courage. Scared. Grace, too” On Gord Downie, vulnerability and men.
Like millions of Canadians, I can’t stop thinking about the Tragically Hip’s incredible performance on Saturday night. It wasn’t just Gord Downie’s sparkly tracksuits and feathered hats, his uniquely quirky dance moves, or the dozens of poetic songs he and his band so perfectly performed. For me, the most profound moment was during his performance …
# 5 of Top 10: Play Catch-not Hardball-with your Loved One’s Emotions
Ok, I know this sounds about as deep as a Nickleback song, but stay with me here: Our emotions are like baseballs that we hope other people catch. Sometimes we throw them hard at people, “You suck! You’re fired!” Sometimes we throw them soft, “I had the worst day. Rub my feet???” Sometimes we throw …
FAQ’s about Boundaries
What is a boundary? Well, there are probably lots of ways to understand boundaries, for all kinds of contexts. In counselling, when we are looking at interpersonal boundaries, we define them simply as “what is OK and what is not OK”. That means personal boundaries might be different for different people? Absolutely. Ever have …
Won’t Give Up
I’m taking dancing lessons with Husband. For the wedding. Correction…for the weddingS! We have two Junior Tribe Members getting married within a month this summer. Cah-RAY-Zee! Seriously…shouldn’t you feel like a grown up all the way before you have JTM’s getting married? I’m not there yet. Anyways…I grew up in a culture with a rich …
Enoughness
I was woken up early this morning. 5:38am to be exact, which is an hour where I am often far from pleasant—but when it’s your 5 year old at the side of your bed asking if you could come to her room for a minute, you muster up some gusto and go. I know what …
Thoughts on being a therapist
The magnitude of this work is not lost on me. Four and a half years after beginning as a therapist I still find myself utterly awed at the courage and tenacity of the folks who plunk down on the couch and whisper words that have never made it outside their heads or hearts. 55 months …