What happens when a guy gets tired? What happens when a guy loses someone important to him? What happens when a guy gets betrayed, disappointed, loses out, gets shafted, is ambushed, has one thing after another not go his way? He experiences life as hard, that’s what. And while we might let him cuss, yell, …
Gruff Sweet Love
When I do premarital counselling, I will often ask the couple, “How do you know what you want your marriage to look like? Have you seen what you want to have somewhere? Do you have a couple you want to model yourselves after?” Often one or both of the couple will refer to their parents. …
A different face of empathy
I’m thinking many of you will find this answers a question or two that’s been been asked often in your relationship. Spend 90 seconds of your day here, and see if this doesn’t have a small part of you go, “Oh, so that’s why….”
Love
Spent some time with parents of young children yesterday…discussing with them how hard it is in today’s culture to maintain a quality relationship with one’s spouse. Two-thirds of marriages take a nose dive in quality once the children come along. It’s hard to “be enough” as a mom…to protect our children, to stimulate them, to …
Is it a problem? The fireworks are gone!
In the last of the series of 5 surprising but important life lessons that psychological research, Psychology Today looks at the value of mature deepening love. Couples can be alarmed, or wonder if they should “throw in the towel” when the hot and heavy blush of the relationship is gone. When couples go from “can’t keep …
Hope Springs…A Therapist’s Take
I got the chance to see Hope Springs today…first chance I had to see it. This was a movie I could hardly wait to see…the movie is about a couple engaging in intense couple counselling. How would my field, my chosen practice that I’m so passionate about, and that I take so seriously…how would Hollywood …
John Gottman on Anderson Cooper
John Gottman was recently on Anderson Cooper’s show and there was some great stuff talked about that highlighted some of the practical applications of his scientific research Gottman is a well respected couple’s relationship researcher who can predict with 94% accuracy whether a couple will get divorced by looking, over the course of about 3 …
Interrupting the imperceptible slide into infidelity
A week ago I blogged about the imperceptible, irresistible slide into infidelity. Part 1 then…then life happened…part 2 now. One of the funnest parts of my job is working with couples about to get married. They don’t come in with relationship problems…they come in because they know that premarital counselling is a great idea. On …
The Imperceptible, Irresistible Slide into Infidelity Part 1
I’ve worked extensively with couples in the immediate, devastating, agonizing aftermath of the discovery of an affair. It’s hard to watch the couple come in…one whose world has been rocked at its very foundations…puffy eyes, a bit of a lostness/wildness about them…and one often very contrite, with poor eye contact, having violated their own moral …
Getting a System to Work Well
What if there was a technique to reduce surgical complications by 35% and fatality rates in surgery by 47%…across the board…all surgeries, all over the world, no matter what kind of hospital in whatever country? And what if I told you that this technique has been tried and tested in multiple sorts of surgical centers…and …