So, parenting is hard, eh? Brutal. Some days, you gotta wonder if all your efforts matter. If you matter. Some days, we as parents mess up, screw up, yell too much, micro manage, over-parent, under-parent, can’t-play-dressy-up-even-one-more-time, or use the screen as a babysitter in an all together unsatisfying way. But we always got something our …
Loving Family Rituals – Four Steps to Peaceful, Nurturing Times with you
From Carolyn: One of the greatest treats of my life (and there are many) is to work with therapists that I deeply trust and respect. I believe in their approach and their commitment to help clients that come to see us. One of those deeply valued therapists is Lindsey Jay Walsh . He writes so eloquently about …
Visiting my husband’s wife’s grave
It wasn’t an easy decision for our experience of love after heartbreaking loss being on the national stage in the Globe and Mail. We thought long and hard about sharing this story. The back story of our decision, the picture featured in the article, and another perspective of the same shot, from an entirely different angle: Composting Heartbreak …
Introducing…Carolyn Klassen
This is not your typical “introducing our newest therapist/intern” blog. I’m introducing me…my new name. Same therapist…different name. Used to be Carolyn Bergen. Now…Carolyn Klassen. I got married in April. And when I got home from my honeymoon, I was still a Bergen… You see, I got a whole new pack of Junior Tribe Members …
Safety leads to physical intimacy
Bonding science says the biggest factor in the quality of your sex relationship is the safety of your emotional connection of the person you are making love with. Dr. Sue Johnson At Conexus Counselling (formerly Bergen and Associates Counselling), most of us have additional training in the research and theory of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). …
The Hidden Destruction of Inverse Scorekeeping
I read Donald Miller’s Scary Close book late last fall…and it was one of the best books I’d read in a long time. It was funny and clever and engaging, and all about relationships, my favourite topic. Y’know it’s a good book, when months after it’s been read, it comes back to bite you in …
Stopping the world to listen
“Baby, when you hurt, the world stops and I listen and try to understand and empathize. I’m not going to leave you in pain. I’m there for you.” Dr. John Gottman, on the key sentiment of successful couples I can remember a few moments where it became clear that he was the one I wanted …
Were you happy single?
A few weeks before my April wedding, a professional woman who I’d recently gotten to know asked me, “Were you happy being single?” I floundered for a response and babbled on in a scrambled fashion for a few minutes and then finally had the insight to ask her, “Where does that question come from?” And …
Another way to answer your child’s questions
Today I’m drawing inspiration (forgive the pun) from Calvin and Hobbes and its creator Bill Waterson. Sadly, I don’t have permission from United Press Syndicate to put the strip up on our web page – Hobbes charges a pretty hefty appearance fee. Sorry about that – it’d be awesome to have it up here. …
Rumblin’ and reckonin’
I heard a few stories from a few friends in the last few days (not from clients, btw–I don’t ever tell client stories on the blog): A woman in her early 30’s tells the story of her parents divorcing when she is her teens. Several months after the separation, her dad called the children together …