“You’ll be an old grandpa. And I’m going to be a daddy.” – James Walsh, age 3, imagining the whole game. This post is about taking the long view and, thus, is the natural follow up to #5: Catch the Ball. In Catch the Ball we talked about the need to focus first on our …
Sorry…Not Sorry
I’m sorry. As Canadians we are notoriously known for being polite, with comedy sketches and internet pictures frequently mocking our excessive kindness and propensity towards apologies. We often read this as a favorable quality, this readiness to assume responsibility for a minor infraction or social inconvenience – but what does frequent apologizing really say about …
Introducing…Jonathan Scrivens, Therapy Intern
Jonathan Scrivens is joining us at Conexus Counselling beginning Tuesday, September 6, 2016! He is a counselling intern that will be working with us for the next season of his education. The rate for his sessions (60 minutes long) is $45.00. Call us at 204 275 1045 or email us if you’re interested in booking …
“Courage. Scared. Grace, too” On Gord Downie, vulnerability and men.
Like millions of Canadians, I can’t stop thinking about the Tragically Hip’s incredible performance on Saturday night. It wasn’t just Gord Downie’s sparkly tracksuits and feathered hats, his uniquely quirky dance moves, or the dozens of poetic songs he and his band so perfectly performed. For me, the most profound moment was during his performance …
Experience over memory
I remember reading once that a uncluttered home makes for an uncluttered brain and heart. A person can feel more present and content when there is a peaceful feeling when there isn’t extra “stuff” cluttering one’s space. As an encouragement to get rid of things, the author wrote something like: “Getting rid of your grandmother’s fancy teapot …
# 5 of Top 10: Play Catch-not Hardball-with your Loved One’s Emotions
Ok, I know this sounds about as deep as a Nickleback song, but stay with me here: Our emotions are like baseballs that we hope other people catch. Sometimes we throw them hard at people, “You suck! You’re fired!” Sometimes we throw them soft, “I had the worst day. Rub my feet???” Sometimes we throw …
#6 I’m sorry: Top 10 Healthy Relationship Skills
“Why should I apologize? She/he never does!” Have you ever said those words to yourself? I know I have. And it makes sense. Often it doesn’t feel fair to say “I’m sorry”. Often we are so hurt, that it’s hard to see that our words have been thoughtless, or our actions destructive. Instead of apologizing, …
#7 Dance Me to the End of Love: Top 10 Healthy Relationship Skills
Show me slowly what I only know the limits of, Dance me to the end of love -Leonard Cohen, from Dance Me to the End of Love That, up there, is my favourite lyric in all of music. It’s got rhythm like an ocean, the wisdom of a rabbi, and the soul of a lover. …
#8 The Third Side of the Coin: Top 10 Healthy Relationship Skills
There is a THIRD SIDE to every story just like there’s a third side to every coin.[1] The Canadian Quarter has a moose on the first flat side and the Queen on the second flat side. I would argue that living according to your values requires looking for the THIRD as much as possible. And …
#9 The Reframe: Top 10 Healthy Relationship Skills
People often ask therapists for “tools”. We want tools to have better relationships with ourselves and with others. Perhaps the most important “tool” is the Re-frame. When we “re-frame” something we choose how we are going to perceive it. Parents and loved ones have some really good re-frames for situations. Like, when a baby is …