Ok, I know this sounds about as deep as a Nickleback song, but stay with me here: Our emotions are like baseballs that we hope other people catch. Sometimes we throw them hard at people, “You suck! You’re fired!” Sometimes we throw them soft, “I had the worst day. Rub my feet???” Sometimes we throw …
#6 I’m sorry: Top 10 Healthy Relationship Skills
“Why should I apologize? She/he never does!” Have you ever said those words to yourself? I know I have. And it makes sense. Often it doesn’t feel fair to say “I’m sorry”. Often we are so hurt, that it’s hard to see that our words have been thoughtless, or our actions destructive. Instead of apologizing, …
#7 Dance Me to the End of Love: Top 10 Healthy Relationship Skills
Show me slowly what I only know the limits of, Dance me to the end of love -Leonard Cohen, from Dance Me to the End of Love That, up there, is my favourite lyric in all of music. It’s got rhythm like an ocean, the wisdom of a rabbi, and the soul of a lover. …
#8 The Third Side of the Coin: Top 10 Healthy Relationship Skills
There is a THIRD SIDE to every story just like there’s a third side to every coin.[1] The Canadian Quarter has a moose on the first flat side and the Queen on the second flat side. I would argue that living according to your values requires looking for the THIRD as much as possible. And …
#9 The Reframe: Top 10 Healthy Relationship Skills
People often ask therapists for “tools”. We want tools to have better relationships with ourselves and with others. Perhaps the most important “tool” is the Re-frame. When we “re-frame” something we choose how we are going to perceive it. Parents and loved ones have some really good re-frames for situations. Like, when a baby is …
FAQ’s about Boundaries
What is a boundary? Well, there are probably lots of ways to understand boundaries, for all kinds of contexts. In counselling, when we are looking at interpersonal boundaries, we define them simply as “what is OK and what is not OK”. That means personal boundaries might be different for different people? Absolutely. Ever have …
Thunderstorms, Control, and starting therapy?
Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve hated thunderstorms. Dreaded them, actually. I would always anxiously await their ending. I remember on more than one occasion trying to hurry to bed when I knew one was rolling in at night, hoping that maybe, just maybe, I’d sleep through it. And if that didn’t work, well …
Top 10 Skills of Healthy Relationships: #10 Be the change
Check in weekly for Lindsey’s top 10 list…we will intersperse this series with other thoughts from therapists…tune in next week for #9. I’ve made a list of Ten Foundations of Meaningful Relationships I’ll be sharing these here over the next 10 weeks. If you want something (or someone) to change, begin by being that change …
Micro-Losses
I’m pretty new to the Instagram game. Really, I’m kind of new to the whole technology world in general. Our family with without a cellphone until late 2014 and so I didn’t really see the need to participate in the social media frenzy. I don’t tweet, I’m not on Pinterest (minus the week I was, …
Curiosity Vs Fear
My Friday commutes downtown are some of my favorite times of the week. It is not often that I get 25 or so minutes to sit and slow with only one sort of mindless task on the go. Not that driving is exactly mindless, but it sure requires a different level of engagement than the …