Love’s a function of connection, not communication

Poor communication doesn’t disconnect souls It’s the disconnected souls who poorly communicate. Ann Voskamp Came across this line today in a blog posting that kinda took my breath away in its simple, painful beauty. A little more of it: He lays his hand on my bare shoulder. Water drips from the tips of strands tousled …

The trust bucket

Relationships are a marathon, not a sprint. When trust has been broken, it is re-earned one tiny action-that-merits-trust after another, like drops of water slowly filling the trust pail. When names have been called, and tempers have been shortit takes repeated conversations over time that are calm and respectful that has a person gradually begin …

Shame–The barrier to male’s lack of sensitivity?

I love that, on occasion, this blog pushes people to ponder. Leaving comments on this blog can be very difficult–I write about matters concerning the soul, and to respond to it leaving your name for all the world to see to process how this affected you is tough. Often the blog posts that affect people …

Social Sensitivity a Key to Group Intellect

What is the key component to a group’s results on solving problems? You’d think intellect of the various group members, right? Smarter people are more likely to be able to solve a problem effectively, right?So if you are putting together a group, and you’re wanting them to solve a problem, the best way to get …

Little Things Create Big Feelings

“What is it about little things that make for big feelings?” This question was asked by Stuart McLean on Vinyl Cafe during the annual “Arthur Awards” broadcast, where ordinary people do something kind and generous for someone…and it has a huge impact on people. For example, one person finds a suitcase by the side of …

Mixing Oil and Water Successfully

Sometimes you have to figure out a way to get along. Wynonna and Naomi Judd were on Oprah last week. They are taking another tour together…something they haven’t done in years. They stopped touring a long time ago…partly because of health issues, and partly because they couldn’t stand each other. They referred frequently to their …

Is it OK to argue?

Didja ever meet a couple who never fought and then their relationship ended and everyone is surprised because they never argued? I’ve met some of those couples before they actually separate, but after they recognize that things aren’t working and they better do something to avoid divorce court. They get a little bug-eyed when they …

The Hard but Worthwhile Road of Infidelity Recovery

“Can I ever get past this? Can we ever get past this? Can I ever trust again? Do I want to try?” These are questions I’ve heard painfully asked often as couples deal with the raw emotional pain of infidelity. There was a powerful letter from Brenda Mohan in the Winnipeg Free Press paper today. …

Quick Couple Evaluation

Here is a very quick video from the highly respected Dr. John Gottman, a researcher who’s done a fantastic job of measuring relationship success. One of the most significant results of his research is his ability, with 95% accuracy to be able to suggest the likelihood of a couple’s long term relationship success. He’s for …

Marriage Maintenance and Enhancement

To say I’m a little bit passionate about helping couples find ways of staying married in a vital, life-giving way is like saying the pope is a little bit Catholic. Although of course there are times when it makes sense to end a marriage, no one sets out to have their marriage fail. And yet …