Here is a very quick video from the highly respected Dr. John Gottman, a researcher who’s done a fantastic job of measuring relationship success. One of the most significant results of his research is his ability, with 95% accuracy to be able to suggest the likelihood of a couple’s long term relationship success. He’s for …
Marriage Maintenance and Enhancement
To say I’m a little bit passionate about helping couples find ways of staying married in a vital, life-giving way is like saying the pope is a little bit Catholic. Although of course there are times when it makes sense to end a marriage, no one sets out to have their marriage fail. And yet …
Getting the Walls and Windows Right
“What God has joined together, let no one come between” …with those words a good friend of mine completed the formal part of the vows for a couple dear to me. Those words were spoken at Pineridge Hollow near Winnipeg. The weather was perfect,with the sun shining brightly and yet it was comfortable.The grass was …
Committed: Asking for too much?
Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage, is a book I’ve recently devoured. Written by Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the runaway bestseller, Eat, Pray, Love, it looks at her struggle to figure out how to reconcile her relationship to the institution of marriage (something she had sworn she would never again enter into, but the …
Active Listening
I was at a conference, Stay Ahead of the Electronic Curve, yesterday that looked at how business can use the internet more effectively. It was a really helpful day for me to learn how to help potential customers get to know us and how we can better serve the public. As someone who runs a …
Being Embraced in Life
Family is a pain, huh? Those kids want a snack…and you’ve barely cleaned up lunch. You’ve paid for the kids’ sports, the mortgage, groceries, and the bank account is begging for mercy–and then someone needs fancy duds for an upcoming banquet that MUST be attended and there is NOTHING to wear. You’re dog tired, worked hard all day, and the …
You see what you are looking for
I had a lot of fun with the video from my last post. I had a couple of people around the office view the video to watch their reaction. Wish I had a video camera on their reactions as they watched it for the first time. I realize that this is a familiar video for …
Marriage Maintenance Moments
Keeping a good marriage great is just as important as fixing the problems. I was reading Psychotherapy Networker the other day when I came across the issue of how therapists can help clients who have done some really good work on addressing problem areas in their marriage. Steven Stosny said in an the latest edition …
Compassion for the unfaithful??
When there has been an unfaithfulness in a relationship, it signifies a break in the covenant made on the wedding day to remain faithful to each other…that is a problem. Not a little one, either. A big problem. However, it is often a symptom of something else. Seeing it as a symptom doesn’t make the …
Boundaries and Connectedness after Infidelity
I admire Jenny Sandford, Mark Sandford’s wife. Mark Sandford is the governor of South Carolina. Mark Sandford’s infidelity with an ongoing relationship with another woman was splashed across the headlines is the last few weeks. She lets us in enough to know that in private is dealing with the devastating effects of her husband’s infidelity, …