People often ask therapists for “tools”. We want tools to have better relationships with ourselves and with others. Perhaps the most important “tool” is the Re-frame. When we “re-frame” something we choose how we are going to perceive it. Parents and loved ones have some really good re-frames for situations. Like, when a baby is …
FAQ’s about Boundaries
What is a boundary? Well, there are probably lots of ways to understand boundaries, for all kinds of contexts. In counselling, when we are looking at interpersonal boundaries, we define them simply as “what is OK and what is not OK”. That means personal boundaries might be different for different people? Absolutely. Ever have …
Thunderstorms, Control, and starting therapy?
Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve hated thunderstorms. Dreaded them, actually. I would always anxiously await their ending. I remember on more than one occasion trying to hurry to bed when I knew one was rolling in at night, hoping that maybe, just maybe, I’d sleep through it. And if that didn’t work, well …
Micro-Losses
I’m pretty new to the Instagram game. Really, I’m kind of new to the whole technology world in general. Our family with without a cellphone until late 2014 and so I didn’t really see the need to participate in the social media frenzy. I don’t tweet, I’m not on Pinterest (minus the week I was, …
Curiosity Vs Fear
My Friday commutes downtown are some of my favorite times of the week. It is not often that I get 25 or so minutes to sit and slow with only one sort of mindless task on the go. Not that driving is exactly mindless, but it sure requires a different level of engagement than the …
Grieving Choices
We make choices every day. All sorts of choices. We choose: cereal over toast, the red shirt over the floral print, the comedy over the dark drama, and for me— I always seem to choose the slow lane at the grocery store. Choice is everywhere. What I’m coming to realize more and more is that …
The summer my children saved me
Mother’s Day is a day for celebrating motherhood…and it’s often a day when mothers are celebrated and honoured. I love the way my Junior Tribe Members have made macaroni necklaces, picture frames from popsicle sticks, and handmade cards over the years. (Teachers–bless you–Truly!!). But I’m even more grateful for how my Junior Tribe Members (JTM’s) …
Enoughness
I was woken up early this morning. 5:38am to be exact, which is an hour where I am often far from pleasant—but when it’s your 5 year old at the side of your bed asking if you could come to her room for a minute, you muster up some gusto and go. I know what …
Doin’ it right
“There’s no cracks in the outside foundation,” they said. “Well, if it was the window leaking, it would be running down the drywall…and it’s not, so it’s not the window,” they said. “It doesn’t seem like there is a standing water issue outside by the building,” they said. It was almost like they were trying …
Bursting the Bubble of Safety–Forgiving and Grieving
I spoke to Lauren McNabb from Global Television yesterday and she asked me the question that parents all over the city are asking, “Do we as parents need to talk to our children about the death of Cooper Nemeth?” I kinda got the feeling like she wanted me to say, “No, we should not acknowledge …