You must decide for yourself to whom and when you give access to your interior life. For years you have permitted others to walk in and out of your life according to their needs and desires. Thus you were no longer master in your own house, and you felt increasingly used. So, too, you quickly …
Alcohol Breaks the Connection
Meaningful conversation when under the influence of alcohol is not productive…in many cases, actually destructive. That’s a no-brainer, right? And yet, I’ve sat in many a session people attempt to work things out while sloshed: A wife will be angry about her husband’s flirting with another at a social, and on their arrival home, there …
Motivated by Mercy
What game do you want to play? “Who’s right” or “Let’s make life more wonderful?” Are you choosing thoughts about who is right and who is wrong and spending valuable time and energy analyzing, judging, blaming and criticizing? …Focus on your and your… [loved one’s] needs. With this refocus, you can spend your valuable time …
Little Things Create Big Feelings
“What is it about little things that make for big feelings?” This question was asked by Stuart McLean on Vinyl Cafe during the annual “Arthur Awards” broadcast, where ordinary people do something kind and generous for someone…and it has a huge impact on people. For example, one person finds a suitcase by the side of …
Oh, what a feeling!
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said; people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou This is me…at Christmas…being silly…holding my new rice bag on my head…a gift from my mom…to a daughter with chronically cold feet. Ahhh.
A GoodBye Burger
I’m at the end of an era. Eleven years ago, I asked friends of mine to pray for me as I looked to find a suitable location amidst odd circumstances for my counselling office. I only wanted a part time practice at the time for one person. A good friend of mine answered my prayer …
Cherished Personal Narratives
We often don’t realize how sometimes, when we get ticked off at someone, it is less about what s/he is going and more because s/he’s messin’ with our heads. While we may not like what a person is doing, we may not like, even more, what it does to the internal unspoken but very real …
The Whole without the Sum of its Parts
Guessing what the puzzle looks like when you haven’t got all the pieces means you end up with something that feels right, but may be far from the truth. That isn’t rocket science. But unwittingly, we live out lives in the fantasy that we know what the puzzle looks like, even when we don’t have …
Silence–Freedom or Fear?
As you probably know, the Amish believe in living a simple life–no electricity, no telephones, no motorized vehicles. Yet in many of the communities there is a pay phone. When asked about this apparent discrepancy one elder explained, ’If the telephone were in our home it would control us. As long as it is out …
Creating Security
I was having trouble sleeping last night. And no, not because it was too unbearably hot-it had been a very warm day, but there was a slight breeze coming in the window that was gradually cooling the room. And no, not because the wedding I attended had me thinking about the beauty of love. I …