Anxiety creates distance

Think about the last time a person intimidated you…maybe he was someone you wanted to impress, or maybe he was very articulate, or maybe he was someone you really wanted to be liked by.  The stakes were high…and you were scared. Quick, without thinking about it, how do you behave? I’ll tell you what many …

Forgiveness is stronger than napalm

On June 8, 1972, Kim Phuc’s life blew up…literally.  Four bombs were dropped on her village and the little 9 year old girl found herself running out of the middle of a 1200 degree firestorm with burns from the napalm on much of her body. Her parents found her three days later in the local …

Hump Day Nudge: Playful attunement

I love being a witness to human connection…this intricate interplay that is a dance of people attuning to another. Without even trying, we pick up on signals from others all the time and respond to them…again without conscious effort. Things happen without explanation…the explanation isn’t needed, because the relationship just makes obvious what happens next. …

Marriage Rules

  “Tell me what to do!!” I often get couples asking me what a healthy marriage looks like…what behaviors and strategies set them up for success. One of the questions I often ask couples is, “How do you know what you want your marriage to look like?”  Increasing numbers of couples don’t have an answer …

Asking for Help Part 2

My travelling buddy for my Oprah Lifeclass adventure in Chicago last week, J, is quite simply, a force. J and I sat in on the taping of two episodes featuring Dr. Brene Brown…and it was a moving experience for the audience…most of us caregiver types. Being J’s friend is a little risky and a lot …

Domestic Violence Part 3

I blogged here and here a few weeks ago about domestic violence…looking at the roots…understanding that our culture assists in shaping men’s behaviour towards violence. Gail Shaver, the therapist that works most closely with those who engage in our Transforming Destructive into Constructive-Intimate Partner Violence program reminded me that I missed something big in the …

Hump Day Nudge: Staying

I read this story last week, and was moved on multiple levels.  Lisa M. Fenn is a producer with ESPN, a sports network…and she clearly and unabashedly crossed the neutral line of journalism and got in deep with the folks of one of her stories.  She smashed the neutralism of journalism and stayed with a …