We don't have to hide scars. Article on losing children by Conexus Counselling

Beautiful Golden Scars

Today is the day I go to the cemetery to sing a lullaby to my sons. I write every year to honour their memory. These little ones who I anticipated with such longing and joy. These little ones whose death shattered me when they died. This comes after a birthday party where Husband and a few …

Returning me to myself

It was my birthday last week. And Husband knows me: I like to anticipate goodness more than by surprised by it I prefer much smaller groups over large crowds He hosted a birthday gathering for me with some of my favourite people. They told me that I positively beamed while they sang Happy Birthday to …

On a therapist's fourth wedding anniversary: Oh to be loved with a love like this.

To be loved with a love like this…

I am sooo not a morning person. Husband is. He is ever bright and cheerful (and ridiculously chatty) first thing early in the morning. Often, in the morning when I don’t have it together to make something for lunch, Husband puts a cup of  Cheerios in a little bag for me to get me through …

Cynicism protects us from being hurt...it also makes it impossible to trust, to lean into joy.

Cynicism and Bermax

We’ve all heard: Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me It’s vulnerable to feel compassion and care towards people who you find out later apparently were the ones who did the damage themselves. When there are mixed stories, and we don’t know who to believe, it gets even more confusing. …

At the Humboldt one year memorial service: It takes a great deal of courage to have hope. Be agents of hope.

Pivot Point: Courage to hope

Today, I was driving on a road trip, shlepping athletes home from a tournament on the open highway. While driving, I listened on the radio to the memorial service taking place in Humboldt to honor those in the Broncos hockey team bus crash.   I was struck by the permission that the mothers of two …

On the anniversary: A letter to myself on my wedding day all those years ago. It's not gonna work out, but you will be okay.

To my younger to-be-divorced-one-day-self on your wedding day

Dear Carolyn-bride, You didn’t know me all those years ago at 22—but you would have known I would be coming one day. I’ve been thinking a lot about you. This is a momentous anniversary of something now gone, and so I’ve been thinking about you more than usual in the last couple of days. Today …

Neil Armstrong quote on article of New Zealand shootings: When you get a different vantage point, it changes your perspective.

Valuable Perspective

I was on a flight the other day and had a chance to take in the movie, “First Man”. In response to the question, “Why is space flight important”, Neil Armstrong replied: I had a few opportunities in the X-15 to observe the atmosphere. It was so thin, such a small part of the Earth, …

Nice to a fault: How understanding the difference between kind and nice could save your marriage

Nice to a fault

One of our guilty pleasures as a family is the television show, Survivor. It’s still early in this latest season. We got caught up on the weekend…the first person voted off the island on Survivor Edge of Extinction was Reem, a middle aged woman. Reem lasted just 3 days on the island with her team. …