“Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition”. Alexander Smith
Nurture changes brain structure
School-age children whose mothers nurtured them early in life have brains with a larger hippocampus, a key structure important to learning, memory and response to stress. …”This study validates something that seems to be intuitive, which is just how important nurturing parents are to creating adaptive human beings,” says lead author Joan L. Luby, MD, …
My Inside VS Your Outside
“You’re comparing your inside to other people’s outsides” I was talking with my colleague, Gail Shaver, when this line came up in conversation as something she had said earlier that week. It sounds pretty obvious as one reads this, that this would be an unfair comparison, doesn’t it? Not so obvious to live. Have you: …
A Prayer of Disturbance
Disturb us, Lord, when We are too pleased with ourselves, When our dreams have come true Because we dreamed too little, When we arrived safely Because we sailed too close to the shore. Disturb us, Lord, when with the abundance of things we possess We have lost our thirst For the waters of life; Having …
Discovering Inner Capacity
Sometimes, the best way to find inner capacity is to be in a situation where it is required…and it simply shows up…or maybe it was there all along… So…giving the refrigerator a vacation as suggested by the repairman…nice idea, but not effective. The silly fridge may have enjoyed the R and R…but when we plugged …
The Power of Love
One privilege I have as a couples’ therapist is a front row seat to watching how one spouse can inspire, encourage, empower, believe in, support the other spouse in a way that uplifts, grows, develops, creates “more” in the other person. More confidence, more risking, more relaxing, better sleep, more laughter, just…well…more good stuff. …
A Night to Remember
Sometimes what you were hoping would happen, falls apart…and the fall back plan ends up better than you could have imagined. Friday afternoon was one of “those days”…I got a call from a friend who was at my house waiting for the appliance repairman…when she arrived…there was water all over the kitchen from the leaky …
Making an Appointment
People trust their hairdresser to cut their hair, and their mechanic to fix their car, Bergen points out. Why wouldn’t they trust a counsellor with the things that are troubling them? “It’s okay to seek help and to seek resources from somebody who knows something about an area that you don’t,” says Bergen, who …
A Slip of Grace
Dear Grey Ford Fusion Guy, I don’t think you really knew, did you? You couldn’t know that I had a meeting this morning which was challenging and worrisome. That what you did was sandwiched shortly before another meeting where I went in feeling in a “liitle over my head”. You couldn’t know that I work …
A Thought
The risk of connecting to another in relationship is fraught with danger, and there are times in most people’s lives that it is deemed “not worth it”. And while the danger of being hurt in the relationship is then averted, the larger cost of being without that relationship carries with it a different sort of …