One privilege I have as a couples’ therapist is a front row seat to watching how one spouse can inspire, encourage, empower, believe in, support the other spouse in a way that uplifts, grows, develops, creates “more” in the other person. More confidence, more risking, more relaxing, better sleep, more laughter, just…well…more good stuff. …
A Night to Remember
Sometimes what you were hoping would happen, falls apart…and the fall back plan ends up better than you could have imagined. Friday afternoon was one of “those days”…I got a call from a friend who was at my house waiting for the appliance repairman…when she arrived…there was water all over the kitchen from the leaky …
Making an Appointment
People trust their hairdresser to cut their hair, and their mechanic to fix their car, Bergen points out. Why wouldn’t they trust a counsellor with the things that are troubling them? “It’s okay to seek help and to seek resources from somebody who knows something about an area that you don’t,” says Bergen, who …
A Slip of Grace
Dear Grey Ford Fusion Guy, I don’t think you really knew, did you? You couldn’t know that I had a meeting this morning which was challenging and worrisome. That what you did was sandwiched shortly before another meeting where I went in feeling in a “liitle over my head”. You couldn’t know that I work …
A Thought
The risk of connecting to another in relationship is fraught with danger, and there are times in most people’s lives that it is deemed “not worth it”. And while the danger of being hurt in the relationship is then averted, the larger cost of being without that relationship carries with it a different sort of …
Have You Hugged Your Kid Today?
Have you hugged your kid today? Hugs can NEVER be overrated. Hugs are powerful…oxytocin is released during a hug…it connects people, it calms the soul, and soothes troubled emotions. Hugs help children settle, it “slows down a racing engine”, it reduces pain. Hugging is part of spending time, showing you care, nurturing and loving another. …
Being the Right Partner
Marriage is not about finding the right person. It’s about becoming the right person. Elliot Katz, A divorced man whose done some thinking Psychology Today has a great article on marriage which I devoured the other day. It’s a fabulous piece that will likely be hard to read for those spouses who want to …
Is Prayer Shameful?
I was listening to a this week’s show of DNTO (Definitely Not The Opera)—the focus of the show was on prayer. A dear friend had sent me the link…as a quirky, sometimes irrereverant variety of viewpoints on prayer. I listened to a variety of people being interviewed on how and when they pray and what …
Anger on Richard Cloutier Radio
Rod Minaker and I were with Richard Cloutier on Thursday at CJOB talking about anger…he wanted to talk about the perception that anger is “bad”…which is understandable, given that most of our most memorable stick-to-the-ribs recollections of anger were scary and not something we’d want to repeat. We talked about anger as information that is …
A LIttle Beauty…A Little Perspective
I find myself going over to The United Kingdom’s The Guardian page of “24 Hours in Pictures” occasionally. The pictures are stunning…images captured within a specific day around the world. Some beautiful, some remarkable, some depicting bravery or courage or suffering. It reminds me of the global community, it helps me breath deeply and get …