(Ok…fair warning. I’m getting married real soon. I get that he and I are in an idealized moony-eyed phase where we are understanding and accommodating. I get that there will be days when it won’t always be this easy, or that automatic. But I’m also determined to hold onto the beauty of what is. I’ve seen this in couples that have been married for decades, so I am wanting our relationship to be one of grace)
I am learning something about what it feels like to be in a relationship that is supportive and nurturing.
A few weeks ago, after the snow was gone, the skies gave us several slippery centimetres overnight. It was a day that was set aside for wedding prep.
I showed up barely on time at his home. But I forgot the wedding notebook. We had to go back to my home to grab it–backtracking…and making us even later for our first appointment than we would be because of the slick roads.
We picked up my wedding dress (!) and then headed off to the furniture store. I’d gone to the store from the tailors before, and I knew we could get there by turning left. I directed him left…and we got lost. Very lost.
Now I’d gotten us late and lost, back to back.
I braced myself for his irritation, and I apologized. And apologized again.
And he looked at me, shaking his head. “Do I look mad?” he asked. He didn’t. I goofed--twice in a row–and he wasn’t mad. He extended grace.
There’s very little that attracts a heart more than easygoing forgiveness.
We got out the GPS and got us back on the right track. And then got ourselves to the store.
Which didn’t open for another 45 minutes. Oops. Mistake #3. Third mistake in a row.
I don’t like making mistakes…especially when they inconvenience other people. I hate it.
He looked at me and said, “I’m so glad you make mistakes. Because I need to be married to someone who makes mistakes. I’m glad you’re not perfect. Cuz if you were perfect, you wouldn’t be perfect. I’m gonna make mistakes too.”
The weird thing was, he meant it. He wasn’t hiding his irritation. He wasn’t gritting his teeth to avoid snapping at someone who goofed at every turn. He just continued chatting with me about the day. He giggled at how often he has gotten lost in the city while going from one job site to another. It was real grace. He talked about how he goofs up too. We laughed and went on to do some other errands first, and came back to the store later.
He extended grace. The real deal…and I gotta tell ya, that is something that is remarkable to experience.
He could only extend grace cuz I goofed.
And we were stronger for the grace I experienced. Sigh.
I’m hoping he experiences the same from me.
He is helping me to embrace all of who I am. He tells me he loves me for all of who I am–and he’s given me the chance to learn about grace by living in its beam. To be able to accept my own imperfections because he accepts them. Powerful.
I love that man. Think I’m gonna marry him! 😉