I listened to Louis Armstrong’s song, “It’s a Wonderful World” the other day. I love that song…however, how I hear it was forever changed many years ago…and my brain plays a music video in my head when I hear this song, no matter where I am or what’s happening when this song plays:
I can’t help but see the images, particularly around the 35 second mark, whenever I hear this song. Probably been 20 years since I watched this movie, but the images and this song are tied together for me forever. This song is inextricably linked with images of terror, destruction and violence amongst the beautiful and verdant pastoral vistas of VietNam.The local people trying to live their lives, the soldiers trying to get home alive, and the intrusiveness of the violence….all the while the song is playing. A beautiful peaceful long that so harshly contrasts with the images.
I’ve been thinking about how life is so often mirrored in the complexity and confusingness of the lyrics and melody overlaid by the images.
That so much of life can feel so awful and so good, at the same time.
- A job promotion comes with the affirmation of a job well deserved, and an increase in pay…and with it can come increasing responsibility that means more hours and novel tasks which can feel overwhelming. Between family and job, that job promotion starts to feel like a noose around one’s neck.
- The birth of a child floods new parents with love and sweetness…and hours of night time crying, interrupted sleeps, and fears of all the things that can go wrong. When “baby blues” turns into postpartum depression, the results can be horrifying.
- The intimacy of a close relationship creates a safety and comfort…a sort of cuddling closeness that calms and soothes, reassures and restores…creates space for giggles and fun, sharing and openness.And exposes a person to be betrayed, disappointed, hurt, saddened in ways which could never happen if alone.
I was at a wedding where the bride walked down the aisle to Louis Armstrong’s “It’s a Wonderful World”…it was lovely.She was radiant, and had eyes only for her life’s partner as she regally walked towards him.The song had a celebratory beauty to it…but as per usual, in my head, the images of the above video were played alongside the scene in front of me.
And I wondered,
Does she know and understand that there will be dark days ahead? Can she realize, even today, that there will likely be days when she will wonder if she did the right thing to commit her life to this guy?
Maybe cuz he’s done the same little annoying thing for the 1000th time…or cuz he wasn’t “there” for her at a moment she really really needed him. Can she know that she will weep in agony one day when she is deeply wounded by something he’s done…that a time of significant distancing or conflict is almost inevitable at some point in every marriage? Can she fathom that there will be pain in this relationship even as she is revelling this moment in how wonderful her world is?
Will she be able to remember this moment of hope and promise during a dark day?
Will she be able to remember the love and commitment of this day during some moment when she wonders if it is all worth it?
Will she use the power of this moment to remind herself as energy to carry her through that moment?
Will she have the reserve and the resilience that is built up in drips and drops of the beauty of ordinary moments of living together…the giggles over dinner, the feeling of satisfaction after pulling weeds together, leisurely walks around the neighbourhood?
Will she be able to use the strength that slowly builds with the beauty of these wonderfully ordinary moment that she and he can dance the minefields of the
relationship in a way that sustains them during the tough times?
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