| Carolyn Bergen | 0 Comments | Encouragement, The Daring Way ™ | ,

The mother and father of courage

We are all of us not merely liable to fear, we are also prone to be afraid of being afraid, and the conquering of fear produces exhilaration…The contract between the previous apprehension and the present relief and feeling of security promotes a self-confidence that is the very father and mother of courage

In World War 2, the Germans bombed London with the idea that the terror the bombing produced would bring England to it’s knees. With the entire city paralyzed with fear with the fear of another bombing, the Germans would be able to overtake the country with ease…or so was the thought. With the population of London incapacitated by fear, or fleeing in mass panic, or unable to carry out the work of the city because of paralysis, it was thought that the war would destroy the country quickly.

Not so.

Not only in London, but other cities that sustain bombing…the people become more resilient in a surprising way. Over 8 months, London was bombed often…starting with 57 nights in a row. In David and Goliath, Malcolm Gladwell writes that 40,000 people were killed, 46,000 were injured. “A million buildings were damaged or destroyed…It was everything the British government officials had feared–except that every one of their predictions about how Londoners would react turned out to be wrong.  The panic never came.” (page 129)

In a city of about 8 million, there were those that were killed, and those that were injured or very nearly missed, and traumatized by the bombing.  But the largest group were “remote misses” where the bombs dropped the next block over or down the street. They survived. “There were many more remote misses who were emboldened by the experience of being bombed than there were near misses who were traumatized by it.” (page 133)

Gladwell goes on to make the case that those individuals who experience significant difficulty but who escape with their lives, are often courageous to take chances that would otherwise never be taken. Surviving challenging experiences, facing fear in the face and staring it down can prepare each of us to be stronger for the next challenge.

I’ve led four The Daring Way ™ intensive workshops now…and each time, I have watched folks contemplate vulnerability in the group…They ask themselves the question: “do I or don’t I dare to ‘show up, be seen, and live brave’ ™ here?”

And I can’t tell you how powerful it is for participants, when they take the risk, to be honoured for their courage, and have others express gratitude for them saying that which felt so vulnerable.

“What we hunger for perhaps more than anything else is to be known in our full humanness, and yet that is often just what we also fear more than anything else. It is important to tell at least from time to time the secret of who we truly and fully are . . . because otherwise we run the risk of losing track of who we truly and fully are and little by little come to accept instead the highly edited version which we put forth in hope that the world will find it more acceptable than the real thing. It is important to tell our secrets too because it makes it easier . . . for other people to tell us a secret or two of their own . . . ” ― Frederick Buechner, Poster by Bergen and Assocates in Winnipeg

Because, every time, the most amazing thing happens.  A person says, “Because I saw you take a risk and survive, I will also dare to risk vulnerability and let myself be truly seen.  Please, I’m apprehensive, but please…listen to my story…” and we all have the opportunity to again be honoured with the trust to hear the story of a person.

We are offering another opportunity to participate in The Daring Way August 13-15 (Wednesday-Friday).  Join us?

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