Father-ishness

Today is a day we honour fathers in our lives…”Father’s Day”…and folks all over the city are having brunches, breakfasts of dried out cold toast or limp waffles, and BarBQ’s. The value of fathers in a child’s life cannot be overestimated. Having a father to affirm your personhood, to celebrate who you are, to remind …

A Man’s Desire

Too often, men don’t get to   be who they really are, say what they really feel have their outside match their inside express what they really think Men get shut down, shut out, cut off from the best parts of who they are when society, their community, maybe even their own family tells them …

The Hidden Cost of Public Protection

Becoming a good soldier, a good cop, or a good fire fire fighter and being a warm, engaged, vulnerable partner/parent is difficult. Because being a good public protector means not staying in control, dominating, exerting power and never showing vulnerability…it’s a requirement to stay alive on the battle field… …and sets that same public protector up for …

11 years since 9-11

The day North Americans learned what it was like to feel terror; to grieve for fathers, sons, wives, sisters…friends of friends of friends; to understand how it changes the world when buildings are randomly destroyed with so many inside.  Innocent lives lost, other innocent lives forever changed. Use the time of the video to remember …

Growth Underneath the Crap

I generally dislike spring clean up…ok…that’s more polite that I really feel about it…I hate spring clean up. I hate it almost worse than fall clean up…mainly because I put it off so long last fall, that it didn’t get done properly, and so there were more leaves and stuff left behind than should. We …

Honoring the Remembering

Today, in honor and memory of those who went and didn’t come back, and for those who mourn them and remain behind, for those who went and came back never to be the same, for those that live with them forever changed… we remember. At our house, it was a somber and quiet moment this …

200 Brave Men…200 Wounded Boys

The trauma of childhood sexual abuse has too often focused on the vulnerability of girls. One in three girls is sexually abused…that’s a lot, a lot of girls. How many women do you know? Statistically, one in three has been violated. So, so many. So many lives changed, so many tears shed, so many hearts …

Validation for Childhood Trauma

Those who struggle with memories and bodily effects of childhood trauma won’t be surprised by the news in The Winnipeg Free Press today. Hypervigilance, which is a super-aware-alertness to the world around, with particular attention to impending danger is exhausting, and wears on a body. Those who grew up in a chaotic, dangerous household, that …

The story from the other side

“I killed who she could have been,” said David, who sexually abused his cousin for 12 years. He goes on to say that the woman he abused contacted him through her therapist a few years ago, and she had a conversation with him. She wanted to let him know that she forgave him. David said …

Things I learned on my trip Part 4

Motherhood is wired into animals: A mother duck won’t let you near her babies. This lesson reviewed for me powerfully as I was admiring the baby ducklings on my run in the Calgary Bow River Trail Park last weekend. They were resplendent in their furriness…adorable, fuzzy little creatures. They were my second favorite thing to look at …