New Book: My Marriage is Almost Dead…

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I heard a story about some acquaintances  a few days ago…the couple had been married for several years.  The wife was unhappy, but she hated confrontation.  She didn’t want to say anything that would hurt her husband. She didn’t want to be the source that created long and difficult conversations. So she said nothing. The situation …

Pink socks are an expression of solidarity and support to my Junior Tribe Member whose mother died from breast cancer.

Socks of Love

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My youngest Junior Tribe Member is my son.  He does refer to me as a parent, which I totally love.  I am not his mother.  His mother died. Out of respect for his mother, he wears pink shoes. Bright pink runners on the court. When his coach told him last year to make them less …

Hypothesis of generosity

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I want you to think of the last time somebody was angry at you. What were they angry about? Did you actually intend to hurt them? If so, why was it important to hurt them? If not, what did they not understand about you? Maybe you were late for lunch with a friend, but there …

Connection: Family Meal Times

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We are wired for connection. We do better when we spend time together with other people.  The first in a series… Family meals are challenging these days. In fall, sometimes seemingly impossible between music lessons, sports teams, parental work demands.  With each family member having a different but full schedule, figuring out how to get …

The lunch that started something beautiful

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I will always remember Sunday lunch of the August long weekend with special fondness. It was the start of a somethin-somethin with Husband and I…though it wasn’t nearly the start of our romance. Husband’s wife, Car had died in late winter. In the months leading to her death, I had asked Car’s sister of how she …

An Open Letter to Indigenous Peoples of Canada

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Dear Indigenous Peoples of Canada, I feel like I have to write this letter. I’ve been apprehensive about writing it because I fear that my white privilege will be shamefully obvious for all to see. White privilege creates blind spots in thinking, which by their very nature, are beyond a person’s ability to see. I am …

Beautiful truths

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Anne Lamott gave a beautiful TED talk recently. I love TED…but wow, sometimes it exceeds my already high expectations. Wow!! Regular readers know how much I love TED generally…and when it’s Anne Lamott…well…who can resist?     I love how Anne gently and wryly speaks truth…sharing of her own beautiful, messy, now-sober, grace-filled experience to …

“Fault?” Not relevant!

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I often hear someone refusing to come to counselling because they don’t have the problem: “If I’m not the rebellious one, why would I need counselling?” “He’s the one that drinks, not me.  He needs counselling, not me!” “My wife is the one that lost her parents in the accident. I don’t need help.” “The …

Oops! A Therapist forgets empathy

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A few weeks ago, Husband’s finger lingered over the “send” button on a text.  For a looong time, his finger hovered over the message. We had talked about it.  We had together decided on a course of action with a family member. And now, he was doing his part of the implementation, and as we sat on …