We don't have to hide scars. Article on losing children by Conexus Counselling

Beautiful Golden Scars

Today is the day I go to the cemetery to sing a lullaby to my sons. I write every year to honour their memory. These little ones who I anticipated with such longing and joy. These little ones whose death shattered me when they died. This comes after a birthday party where Husband and a few …

At the Humboldt one year memorial service: It takes a great deal of courage to have hope. Be agents of hope.

Pivot Point: Courage to hope

Today, I was driving on a road trip, shlepping athletes home from a tournament on the open highway. While driving, I listened on the radio to the memorial service taking place in Humboldt to honor those in the Broncos hockey team bus crash.   I was struck by the permission that the mothers of two …

On the anniversary: A letter to myself on my wedding day all those years ago. It's not gonna work out, but you will be okay.

To my younger to-be-divorced-one-day-self on your wedding day

Dear Carolyn-bride, You didn’t know me all those years ago at 22—but you would have known I would be coming one day. I’ve been thinking a lot about you. This is a momentous anniversary of something now gone, and so I’ve been thinking about you more than usual in the last couple of days. Today …

Every act of kindness pokes a hole in the darkness..Bonnie on blog about poking holes in darkness

Poking holes in darkness

We are wired for connection. People belong in community. We need each other. I explained my passion for the value of connection between humans in my 2018 TEDx Winnipeg talk, weaving the metaphor of the interconnected sequoia trees with stories of connection in my life. The sequoia tress, one of the tallest trees in the …

Her 50th birthday would have been today. :(

50

Dear Car, If things had been different, …the couch I sit at in this moment would have streamers and balloons above it. I suspect your mom would have had you over for the day to occupy you, while your husband decorated and fussed, while your friends came over to put up decorations and loaded food …

Grieving a Pet

Yesterday, during my weekly chat with Hal on 680CJOB, we talked about how real the impact of the death of a pet can be.  As you’ll hear on the recording, one of the guys in the news room pooh-poohed the idea that the death of an animal is actually the death of a family member. …

June 18th

Dear Little Ones, Yesterday, it was exactly a quarter century since I last heard your heart beats. It is exactly 25 years ago today that my world fell in and blew apart; simultaneously imploding and exploding. No heart beats one morning. Later that day, when I held you, you were both impossibly perfect, even in …

Thank you to Humboldt. For showing up in your grief. You taught us much. ON poster of man curled up in grief with Broncos logo in the bottom corner

To the people of Humboldt

Dear folks of Humboldt, As a therapist, I’m a person who has the tender, holy privilege and responsibility of sitting with people in the darkest circumstances of their lives. I want to acknowledge the gift you have been to all of us Canadians–even the world. Your community has let us in on your grief and pain after …