One of the things i love about being at Bergen and Associates is that it isn’t just a place where I show up to do therapy with the fabulous people who are clients that I get to work with.
It is more. So. Much. More. (and that already is a ton)
It is also a place where I show up to work with colleagues who inspire me with their own gifts and talents–and they are incredible people who are also great friends. I just simply love them…I like them, to be sure, but I love them too.
Kevin Beauchamp was an intern with us for two years. He and I met regularly for those two years for supervision. I had a chance to watch him develop his skills, to witness his passion for the work, and compassion for his clients. And I had opportunity to watch him work through his own personal stuff too, which is something all of us therapists have to do all the time to ensure that when we work with clients, we don’t impose our crap into their work. Kevin was candid and open and vulnerable to do this, working through some challenging and tough stuff…and I hugely admired him for it.
He married Melissa yesterday…which is a celebration of tremendous proportions on so many levels. It was extra fun for me because Melissa was a student of mine as an Occupational Therapy student at the University of Manitoba when I was teaching there. I knew each of them and liked each of them, before they even knew each other. How cool is that!!
Several of us from Bergen and Associates were privileged to attend the wedding. What an honour to be included in those invited to be a part of such an incredible day.
I liked how the minister opened the wedding.
Paul Stanley said something like:
You might think you were invited to be guests today. But you are more than that…much more. You are witnesses to the vows of Melissa and Kevin. And witnesses are sometimes called to bear testimony to what they witnessed.
There may come a day when you are out with the guys, and Kevin says something about Melissa that is unkind. And as a witness of today, I would invite you to remind him of the promises he made to Melissa today to be with her, and to support her.
Because Melissa is human, and we all make mistakes, there will quite possible come a time when Melissa is discouraged and angry with Kevin, and speaks of him in a way that threatens to drive a wedge in between them. And you can bear witness to the vows Melissa made today, and challenge her to reposition herself towards a compassionate and loving posture to Kevin.
As witnesses today, you are seeing that Kevin and Melissa are joined together. Their invitation to you to be here today tells you that they want you to know of this commitment to each other . And your role in their life now includes being a presence that encourages them to honour their vows that you will shortly hear. You are no longer Melissa’s friend where you hear her talk about Kevin in a way that could increase the distance. You aren’t pals with Kevin in a way that separates him from Melissa.
Your presence here today means that you recognize their desire to grow together, and your witness to that today means that you will help them be a healthy couple…not one that says in 70 years: “Well. we gritted our teeth and made it somehow through that hell” Rather, you will help them to be a couple that will build each other up, support each other and encourage each other…they will be better people because they are married to each other.
I loved how the officiant recognized the value of community. We sometimes forget how incredibly powerful we are in influencing each other.
We belong to each other.
We are wired for connection.
We do better with support of caring people who have earned the right to speak candid and honest and challenging things into our lives.
We bear witness.
And it is an honour and a privilege to do so.