It breaks my heart when women are so nice that they don’t tell their partners or their friends or their kids when they are mad.
It frustrates me when women:
- suppress what they want to have happen
- pretend it didn’t really hurt all that much
- or stop themselves from expressing a different opinion on the matter
It particularly drives me a little crazy when women are doing all of these nice things for the sake of the relationship.
- Isn’t it nice to let him choose pizza without mentioning you’d really prefer sushi, or giving in when he says he wants pizza without working out a collaborative solution?
- Isn’t it kind to pick up his socks over and over without saying anything? Or if you do, and he doesn’t listen, then giving up and just doing it anyway?
- Isn’t it polite to not belabour how painful it was at the party when he got drunk and was so rude to your friends? Not bringing it up the next day makes the whole day go so much easier!
- Doesn’t it help the relationship to “suck it up” when he trivializes the promotion you got at work and go on as if it doesn’t matter? After all, women are supposed to not need the encouragement of their spouses these days (or so goes the feminist line, anyway)
What breaks my heart is that well intentioned, beautiful, sensitive, caring women live the above,
- swallowing that which hurts,
- pretending they don’t have preferences,
- ignoring their own sensitivities…or
- trying their darndest to express them so caringly of the other…that they end up dismissed/ignored or simply not perceived AT ALL.
What frustrates me is that months and years and decades of suppressing your own preferences and ideas, being hurt repeatedly without any change on behalf of the other, wears on a woman…which wears on the relationship, and the rope of connection becomes increasingly frayed…
…more and more…
until, one day…
And. She’s. Done.
And that is often when the guy phones our office for an appointment and says, “My wife says she’s leaving. I knew she wasn’t thrilled, but I had no idea it was as bad as this, and I want to do something. I love her and I want her, and I’ll do anything to change.”
And it’s too late. She really is done.
All that “niceness” builds up resentment and pain and distance…and in the end, “niceness”...the suppression of good old honest anger that could clear up the little nigglings which are inevitable in all relationships...creates the demise of the relationship…with the husband, with the girlfriend, with a workplace.
For many women, the idea of actively expressing anger as a way of building relationship, and enhancing connection is something that seems a little crazy.
But it’s not.
Roshonna Plett is offering the “Empowering from the Inside Out” Anger management program designed by women, especially for women. Join us for five weeks, beginning Monday, May 27th to be empowered to listen to and express your anger to get your relationships stronger than ever?
Sound strange? Maybe. But maybe, just maybe, this makes way more sense to a little part of you that is standing up and saying: “Yes, that’s me.” It’s $250.00 if you register before May 13th…includes manual and snacks. It’s not cheap…because it’s a first class program, and you deserve a quality program.
Join us? We’d love to have you!