Here is a very quick video from the highly respected Dr. John Gottman, a researcher who’s done a fantastic job of measuring relationship success. One of the most significant results of his research is his ability, with 95% accuracy to be able to suggest the likelihood of a couple’s long term relationship success. He’s for real…the therapy and scientific community respect his research as solid. This is what he says:
Now, for your part. Think back to your last encounter with your partner. Evaluate your input into the conversation…do a mental tally (and be honest!) of positive “bids” versus negative “bids”. How’d you do?
Respect, gentleness, understanding, empathy are important ingredients to creating relationship success. I’m not talking doormat stuff here…be strong, hold a position, advocate for yourself. But listen. Listen carefully–let the other know you are listening. Let there be no doubt in the other’s mind that they are heard. Respond respectfully. Engage with the other knowing that their feelings matter to you. Create a foundation for relationship success.
Write a Comment