When I went to the Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C. several years ago, I recall reading a story in a display… During World War 2, times were uncertain, and strange and frightening things were happening. We now know that evil political forces were doing horrible things that resulted in widespread suffering, torture and loss of …
It’s NOT ‘just a piece of paper’
Gail Shaver has been working with couples–before and after marriage–for years. She watched her own daughter get married this summer. She is aware of the research that says that couples who co-habitate before getting married have increased rate of divorce. She also knows that couples who are married have a greater likelihood of making it …
A letter to my Groom-Son
Dear Son, Your mom is a marriage therapist…and so, not surprisingly, I have a few things to say. How could I miss the chance? Let me share some pearls of wisdom that come out of years of watching and working with dewy eyed engaged couples preparing for marriage, and bleary eyed couples exhausted from the endless …
I’ve got a little list
Today is the anniversary of the engagement of Husband and I. A year since we decided to be forever friends and lifetime lovers. I’ve been reflecting on our decision to say “Yes” to each other. Marriage is a big deal for all who enter it. For some of us, who have felt the ache of …
Tale of a Wedding: JTM’s
I have loved my Junior Tribe Members since before they were conceived. I have been their mother all of their lives. I have worked to provide a stable base and safe haven for them, particularly during times of transition–and our family has had periods of significant shifts. Their sense of security came first for me…and …
Tale of a Wedding Part 3
I respected him before I knew him, and liked him as a human being before I loved him as more. He is someone I have fun with, am supported by, and challenges me. In him was a man I couldn’t imagine being without. He is someone I want to invest in, and make his life …
Tale of a Wedding Part 2
At a wedding we usually talk about the wedding bands being a perfect circle, with no beginning and no end. But we all know that these rings do have a beginning. Rock is dug up from the earth. Metal is liquefied in a furnace, then molded, and painstakingly polished. Something beautiful is made out of …
Tale of a Wedding Part 1
Life took an incredibly sharp right turn for me this last winter when I met the man who is so special and so supportive and so loving and so kind I can’t imagine spending my life without him. He’s one of those men who has loved and was loved well in the past…a long and …
We as witnesses
One of the things i love about being at Bergen and Associates is that it isn’t just a place where I show up to do therapy with the fabulous people who are clients that I get to work with. It is more. So. Much. More. (and that already is a ton) It is also a …
Prepping for Lifelong Love Part 2
So…with the Junior Tribe Member now engaged (Woo hoo–toooo exciting!), the happy couple asked the Mother of the Bride (MOTB) and Mother of the Groom (MOTG)–(that’s me!!) to attend the Wonderful Wedding Show last month. Sigh. Swoon. When a mother is expecting, she dreams of the day that baby will find the person of their …