This is not your typical “introducing our newest therapist/intern” blog. I’m introducing me…my new name. Same therapist…different name. Used to be Carolyn Bergen. Now…Carolyn Klassen. I got married in April. And when I got home from my honeymoon, I was still a Bergen… You see, I got a whole new pack of Junior Tribe Members …
Safety leads to physical intimacy
Bonding science says the biggest factor in the quality of your sex relationship is the safety of your emotional connection of the person you are making love with. Dr. Sue Johnson At Conexus Counselling (formerly Bergen and Associates Counselling), most of us have additional training in the research and theory of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). …
The Hidden Destruction of Inverse Scorekeeping
I read Donald Miller’s Scary Close book late last fall…and it was one of the best books I’d read in a long time. It was funny and clever and engaging, and all about relationships, my favourite topic. Y’know it’s a good book, when months after it’s been read, it comes back to bite you in …
Stopping the world to listen
“Baby, when you hurt, the world stops and I listen and try to understand and empathize. I’m not going to leave you in pain. I’m there for you.” Dr. John Gottman, on the key sentiment of successful couples I can remember a few moments where it became clear that he was the one I wanted …
Were you happy single?
A few weeks before my April wedding, a professional woman who I’d recently gotten to know asked me, “Were you happy being single?” I floundered for a response and babbled on in a scrambled fashion for a few minutes and then finally had the insight to ask her, “Where does that question come from?” And …
Another way to answer your child’s questions
Today I’m drawing inspiration (forgive the pun) from Calvin and Hobbes and its creator Bill Waterson. Sadly, I don’t have permission from United Press Syndicate to put the strip up on our web page – Hobbes charges a pretty hefty appearance fee. Sorry about that – it’d be awesome to have it up here. …
Rumblin’ and reckonin’
I heard a few stories from a few friends in the last few days (not from clients, btw–I don’t ever tell client stories on the blog): A woman in her early 30’s tells the story of her parents divorcing when she is her teens. Several months after the separation, her dad called the children together …
Big birds in small cages
Sigh…summer is such a beautiful time isn’t it? And with it comes altered schedules…Carolyn’s writing routine is off and she will be returning to regular writing on the blog soon. For now, another beautiful blog by therapist and writer, Sabrina Friesen… I’ve always been a word girl, finding solace in the words of others and …
You are the centre of you
While Carolyn is away on vacation, Lindsey Walsh steps in again to respond to questions about emotional parts and how they interact with each other… After reading recent blog posts, my friend Alejandra e-mailed me the following question: “While y’all are talking about Inside Out, can anyone please explain to me what should I make …
The story of the story
Picture this: Four children are lying on the dock and happily playing looking at the minnows. They are chatting a bit back and forth, adding sound effects as the little fishies swim back and forth in the water. All of a sudden, one child looks up and notices something: “Hey guys, l like sand. Let’s …