Journey to Self

We welcome Tami Shahnawaz to the blog today. Tami joined us a few months ago and she has just naturally slid into being one of us. She warms up the place, and when she talks to some, her enthusiasm for connecting meaningfully is so engaging, that a person just feels like they are the most important person in the world to her at that moment! We’re thrilled that she sees clients–her specialty is couples, but she sees individuals too.

I remember my younger self had a lot of struggles with trying to decide what was right for me…who I was as a person and what role my parents’ opinion played in my life. I remember fighting with myself with what I wanted and at times blaming others for some of my own choices.

The majority of us struggle at times with being unsure of what we want.

Many of those who enter my office often struggle with understanding themselves.

Some individuals are unsure whether they should stay in a relationship or a job.
Some struggle with breaking the patterns that occur with loved ones.
Many have a difficult time understanding why they are experiencing contradicting thoughts and arguing with themselves.

I feel very blessed for having the opportunity to join my clients on the journey of discovering who they are and what they want. I enjoy assisting them in digging deeper into the roots of their thoughts, helping them understand the reasoning behind these thoughts, and understanding how they are serving them in certain ways.

For example, picture a person struggling with a dating relationship: while one part wants to walk away from an unhealthy relationship another part wishes to stick around despite being hurt several times.

poster of man on lonely road: we often choose to stay in what is uncomfortable and chaotic rather than moving forward because we are fearful and afraid of the unknown. Quote by Tami Shahnawaz on post about exploring the self.

During our sessions, clients struggling with this issue come to know the reasoning behind this struggle. For example, we often choose to stay in what is uncomfortable and chaotic rather than moving forward because we are fearful and afraid of the unknown. We ask ourselves questions such as

What will happen to all of my feelings if I don’t have my partner in my life?
What would I do with the feeling of loneliness?

We can choose to stay in unhealthy relationships and uncomfortable situations as we are afraid of the thought of sitting with our emotions such as guilt or anger. Instead, we run away from these thoughts and begin living a robotic life that does not involve dealing with overwhelming emotions.

Running away could be different for different individuals.

Some of us immerse ourselves in work/school,
others surf the net or watch television for endless hours, and
some sleep more than necessary.

It is sad that while we yearn for others to love us and accept our emotions we ourselves are not capable of accepting our own emotions and loving ourselves.

I often tell my clients that we have a world within us that we are generally unaware of and often run away from.

However, if we begin to get to know this world, and become comfortable with it,

we will no longer be scared of and overwhelmed by our mixed feelings.
We will learn to sit with the emotions until the storm passes and to trust the process.
We will learn to honour our feelings and we will accept them as they come and go.

We will learn to put ourselves before others, and to give ourselves the love that we seek from others. And when we do that, we are in a better position to more effectively connect with the others that are also so important to us.