Show me slowly what I only know the limits of,
Dance me to the end of love
-Leonard Cohen, from Dance Me to the End of Love
That, up there, is my favourite lyric in all of music.
It’s got rhythm like an ocean, the wisdom of a rabbi, and the soul of a lover.
For me it defines my relationship with my wife and what I pray for from my Creator. On the human level, it is what I yearn for from my beloved and what I strive to provide as a husband. It reminds me that my marriage is more than a machine that needs regular maintenance.
Marriage is more than a legal contract.
Marriage is, first and foremost, the spiritual practice of allowing myself to be loved by her and to love her, perpetually.
At home, Love forces me to put aside my ego, my pride, and to hand my fears over to my wife. At the human level, I must let her:
Dance me through the panic ’til I’m gathered safely in
Leonard Cohen
And for her to gather me in, all of me, she must gather slowly. We leave twerking and moshing to those who need to get off. This is not about release, it is about being held; it is about being known, by our beloved, at the level of our soul.
Dance me very tenderly, dance me very long
Leonard Cohen
Ultimately, I must feel her presence with me in my darkness before I will allow her to dance me into the light. If she rushes me, I will not feel heard; if she runs ahead of me, I will not be able to follow.
So, I must let her be with me in my sorrow. I must let her know me in my panic. It is only in this letting go of my image and of my independence that I prepare myself to be known
She can only hold me as I am if she knows me as I am.
It is in accepting help from her knowing we have a lifetime together, that I become strong enough to be blind with her when she is in darkness, to shiver with her when she is cold. Embraced in this slow, long dance, we will grow old and wise together. We will learn together the Love that we only glimpse the limits of when we are apart.
There are 6 more to come.
Stay tuned.
And here are the ones previous in the series: #10 Be the change, #9 The Reframe, #8 The Third Side of the Coin
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