The Woman Cold

So…last post about the man cold…and this one about the woman cold.

And now is when the woman say:

What woman cold? There is no such thing as a woman cold. I don’t have time to be sick”.

Yes. exactly.

That would be the exact context of the woman cold.

Blog about woman cold: cartoon of woman with a cold who is holding baby dressed for work beside a man with a cold who is tenderly nursing it in bed

You see, women struggle with being “enough”.

With being:

a great mom,
a great employee,
a physically fit person,
an attractive person,
a great friend,
the caretaker of a beautiful, inviting tidy home
the chef preparing nutritious meals
a fabulous daughter/aunt/niece/grandparent all at the same time.

Women deal with this conflicting web of expectations:

Be confident and assertive–but remain quiet and soft
Be thin with curves that exist only in photos that are photoshopped–but don’t be obsessed with your appearance
Enjoy life by seizing every moment–but don’t laugh too loud or take up too much space in a room
Have a house that Martha Stewart would envy–but focus on relationships which are the important things in life
Have fascinating things to post on Pinterest that will be the envy of your community

….but never, but never, let anybody see you trying too hard.

It should all be effortless…or at least look it.This first of all is more than a little tricky, when some of them are competing and opposite–no one can do opposite things at the same time…you try being casual and formal simultaneously, for example.

Try doing these things…all at the same time…

And you have an entire gender trying to do it all, while trying to make it all look easy.

Women have been trained to try to “do it all” and do that “all the time”. The most important of all of these roles is “caregiver”.

When talking about the man cold, Jean Berko Gleason, PhD, professor emerita of Psychology at Boston University says:

“Women aren’t supposed to fall apart when they have a cold…So men who are needing some nurturing might take advantage of that on occasions when they aren’t feeling well to get some care and love from the people around them.”

“Women tend to be the ‘carers’ “

Gavin Andrews

So…the woman cold is something that a woman will hardly let herself acknowledge.

There is a subtle, but powerful hidden expectation: the woman has to prove her worth by being a caregiver always, even when she is ill.

A woman dares not allow her cold to slow her down. She is a caregiver and troops on to show her value as a woman.

She hardly gives herself permission to slow down, to feel it. She soldiers on through her cold, because culturally, she must, as a way to demonstrate her worthiness.

ON blog of woman cold: Brené Brown quote: You show me a man who can sit with a woman who

So…to treat the woman cold is simply to open up space to allow it to exist. For the woman to be real, to have space to struggle, to perhaps not only give her permission but to mandate that she allow herself to feel her symptoms.

A place to breath and realize that trying to do everything for everybody, especially when under the weather, isn’t realistic; even while they battle to fight on because of “what will they think?” You know, the very powerful but nebulous “they” that can run a person’s life.