Years ago, I was in the hospital on bed rest, with a high risk pregnancy that threatened to turn into a premature birth at any moment. I was to have as low an activity level as possible…which sounds like a dream come true for the mother of a toddler…but it got old pretty quick.

I was worried about my toddler who was sick and therefore couldn’t visit me in the hospital, I was worried about the health risks for the little unborn one I was carrying, and there was nothing I could except…nothing.  Nothing was my job for almost 2 months.

I was grateful for visitors…they brightened my days considerably.  One day, Anne dropped by.  Anne was someone I didn’t know very well, but we attended the same church.  Anne was a stay at home mom to her children, and her husband had been laid off from his job.  Things were super tight at their house.  It was February and it was cold–we were in the middle of winter…it was hard to remember the leaf turning fall, and it was far too soon to anticipate the first shoots of spring’s crocuses.

When Anne dropped by the hospital one day, she told me how she gave herself a weekly treat to help her get through the stress of the uncertainty of unemployment and the drudgery of winter. It was something to look forward to.  That week she chose to share her treat with me.

She brought two fresh bagels and two little containers of fresh cream cheese (one of them was salmon flavoured–I remember that)…and we feasted on this mid-winter’s treat like it was caviar and champagne.  It was an extravagance at the time that was an act of rebellion against the dark forces of winter and discouragement.

Those bagels were a symbol of, “I will not let my circumstances crush my delight of life.  I will not let myself become discouraged.”

I’ve never forgotten Anne’s choice to create hope, to find optimism, and to establish opportunities for anticipation. Anne let me in on her celebration

Anne taught me something about pushing back the drudgery and dreariness of the winter months.

She was a rebel fighting for joy…and she won.

We do better when we celebrate life!

The hard part can be figuring out how to make it through the next three months.  The Long Winter isn’t just the title of a Laura Ingalls Wilder book…it’s what we all live here in the ‘peg.

• After New Year’s Day, some of us will get Riel Day off in February (some won’t), and then there isn’t a long weekend until Good Friday.
• It’s cold…windchill is below -40 degrees Celsius today.  A person thinks twice before going to the gym or for the jug of milk. A walk around the block isn’t something considered for fresh air.
• There’s not a lot of light out these days…they are getting longer, but at a glacial pace. Most of us get home from work in the dark.  All that darkness can wear on a person…it feels discouraging
• With the onset of the New Year, many of us set “resolutions” or goals for the new year.  They often aren’t sustainable.  So, ironically, we set ourselves up to feel like failures by mid-January.

• Get yourself a therapeutic light source that will allow you to feed your body the sunlight it craves.
• Establish some interesting, gentle and fun “experiments” in the New Year of 2015.These aren’t resolutions that set you up to fail, but rather small shifts that open up new space to be with yourself in different ways
  • Decide to say to yourself “I choose not to” rather than “I can’t” when it comes to taking a second piece of dessert or the third glass of wine.
  • Decide to say to yourself, “I want to..” rather than “I have to..” about going to gym, or cleaning up the closest.  Because while part of you is dreading it, another part actually does want to…remind yourself why this activity is in alignment with your values and you choose to make it a priority.
  • Let yourself say, “Not yet” rather than “I failed”.  Sometimes it just takes some time and some practice.
• Practice accepting compliments for what they are:  expressions of kindness.  When somebody compliments you, respond with a simple, “Thank you”…and work to let their compliment soak in.
• Play a little game with yourself…Every time you notice yourself being mean to yourself, change up your language to be constructive and kind.  Work to reduce the inner dialogue of self hatred, and demeaning thoughts.  Talk to yourself like you would talk to a good friend.  It’s not easy, but it is worthwhile.
• Pick some realistic “treats” for your life stage and lifestyle and budget and put them on the calendar. Space them out and give yourself something to look forward to.  They need to be affordable–not all of us can spend a couple of weeks in the sun.
  • a trip to Starbucks, an outing out for dinner, sledding at a nearby hill. Make it active…it might be hard to get started, but it’s gonna feel energizing!
  • get a manicure at a spa that has a steam room and/or therapeutic spa pool and plan to spend a goodly long time enjoying the time
  • have the kids eat supper without you, put them to bed a little early and make a few appetizers and have a romantic dinner for two
  • celebrate an odd “National” day that for something…it doesn’t have to make sense, and it can be a little off the wall…but it can be a ridiculous distraction from the mundane routine of a winter in Winnipeg.  January 3 is National Drinking Straw day, January 13 is National Rubber Duckie Day, January 24 is National Compliment Day, January 28 is National Blueberry Pancake Day–go a little silly, google some hilarious ways to celebrate that day. January 6 is National Bean day and National Cuddle Up day.  I wouldn’t recommend celebrating them both simultaneously. 😉
• Find ways of moving in the warm.  Go the mall and take a couple of laps around the mall…feel your body move without being cold. Go for a walk at Cindy Klassen recreational complex–lots of windows, or a mall with skylights, or another public gym.  Be active in whatever indoor spaces you can find.  Have you checked out the Conservatory at Assiniboine Park lately? Heck, go bowling!
• Remember little things that give you pleasure…ones that are good for you–and indulge.  I have a candle in a jar lit and burning most winter days in my house.  It’s gently scented.  I often turn off the lights and light a dozen candles in the room. Put on music that lifts your spirit or soothes your soul. Heat a rice bag to put on your lap in the cold car in the mornings. This morning, I put a pair of those little dollar store heat packs on the bottom of each of my socks.  It’s frigid outside but I’ve had the pleasure of warm feet all morning…it’s a beautiful thing.

We may not have a choice about enduring the long winter in Winnipeg.

Years ago, we would have a Mid-Winter Summer picnic.  Years ago, when Bergen and Associates Counselling shared space with Reimer Advertising, we annually put on beachwear, put on a beach soundtrack with waves and chirping birds, spread a picnic tablecloth on the floor and ate devilled eggs and biscuits with devonshire cream and strawberry jam.  One year we even had plastic ants crawling on the tablecloth to give us the true picnic feel. It was a silly brightness in the dreariness of winter. It was something to anticipate and a great distraction.

A friend of mine, M, would get downright silly in her desperateness to deal with the winter blues with her children.  They would have birthday parties for a stuffed animal in their house. One year, when one of her children became fascinated by Tycho Brahe, an astronomer, at school, their household celebrated Tycoe Brahe Day.  They made stuff up to honour Tyco Brahe, and had a special meal in his honour. The family still remembers the Tycho Brahe Day fondly…and not because of Mr. Brahe himself (with all due respect)–but because of how the day transformed a bleak season.

(Though he would have made for an interesting character to celebrate, given that he lost his nose in a duel to a fellow student, and he died from a burst bladder at a function that he would have been seen as rude to leave to relieve himself…but I digress–I just looked him up today after I got his name from M.)

Misery is optional.

We do have a choice about how we respond to the trying months of Winnipeg.  With a little bit of optimism, a spoonful of grace, a quarter cup of planning, a dash of kindness, and a generous sprinkling of silliness we can make it through the winter.