Fighting

Have you seen this video?

I saw it for the first time on Friday. It’s got it’s cute moments, but look for the patterns and the way one part plays off the next part. There is a sort of rhythm, almost predictability to the argument-the husband and wife are dancing to the rhythm of the music.

During couple therapy, the therapist listens and watches for the dance…to learn the steps and the intentions behind the moves of each as well at the attributed meanings of the moves by the other. While a fight to Beethoven’s fifth symphony seems more of an old-time sketch, there is some profoundness to it. Underlying factors drives behavior-often in ways we have no conscious awareness of…the music is inaudible but powerful as it choreographs the conflict in the relationship. A therapist seeks to discover the tune and release the couple from it’s beat to allow them to relate to each other in freeing and present ways.