Avoiding Goodness for Fear's Sake - Conexus Counselling

Even good things can feel scary.

Good things can have us feel vulnerable.

Vulnerability can feel scary…and so we avoid taking risks…even when the risk means a good thing.

Like:

applying for a desired program
handing in the paper you worked hard on
accepting the invitation to the party
being the first to smile to the stranger
saying, “I love you”
saying, “I’m sorry”

When we were children, we used to think when we were grown up we would not longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability. To be alive is to be vulnerable. Poster of this quote by Madeleine L

Dawn Keim says:

It was very hard for me to make the decision to have the surgery. It took a lot of influence from my family. I not afriad of the surgery…I’m more afraid of hearing. I’ve never heard my eight year old son’s voice. In my mind, I can hear my son’s voice, but I know that I don’t hear it, so maybe I’m afraid of what I will hear compared to what my brain tells me that I hear.

I love her honesty about her fear of disappointment.

It doesn’t make a lot of logical sense…but it makes a lot of heart sense.

I hear her…and I know what she’s talking about.

“Vulnerability is the only authentic state. Being vulnerable means being open, for wounding, but also for pleasure. Being open to the wounds of life means also being open to the bounty and beauty. Don’t mask or deny your vulnerability: it is your greatest asset. Be vulnerable: quake and shake in your boots with it. the new goodness that is coming to you, in the form of people, situations, and things can only come to you when you are vulnerable, i.e. open.”