Last week I received a gift. As with every gift, the meaning of the gift is comprised of the giver, the gift, and the context of the gift.  In each department…this gift is profound:

The Giver:

I received this from D*.

M, D’s wife, attended The Daring Way ™ intensive in March. She loved it.  I spoke with her a few weeks after, and she remarked at how the significant the weekend had been for her.  She came home and wanted to share it with her husband, D, but found that words just didn’t work.  She had received the weekend as a gift from D (who jumped in for a full weekend of childcare of three lovely and very active children), and now she wanted to gift him with an opportunity to attend The Daring Way ™ in return.

D. attended The Daring Way ™ in May. M. spent a busy weekend solo with the children because she cares about D. and wanted him to have the same opportunity she did. D. jumped into the weekend in rich ways. During the weekend, he saw the Bergen and Associates Counselling logo, and it caught his eye.

On leaving after the event was over, he intimated we’d be hearing from him, cuz he had an idea. There was a sparkle in his eye…and I was curious!

He was grateful for The Daring Way ™, and wanted to show his gratitude. He used tools from his trade and his creativity to create something remarkable. Wow!

The Gift:

Our logo has been with us since day 1…we love it, because it represents us so well.  Mud, dirt, stuck-in-the-mud, wet and damp–challenging circumstances are never pleasant.  Yet ironically, these are ideal circumstances for growth.  The seed is enclosed in a circle, signifying the importance of body, mind, soul and spirit in that growth. Hands are supportive and come alongside, creating space for the growth, and helping create a safe place…but underneath without encasing/controlling/encompassing the growth. Bergen and Associates Counselling desires to help folks remove the barriers in their lives that interfere with them making the meaningful connections that are so life giving.

The Daring Way ™ recognizes the courage and vulnerability that growth requires. Brené Brown’s research demonstrates so clearly that relationships are vital to life, and finding ways to grow in our ability to make meaningful connections by dealing with feelings of unworthiness, numbing and so on is critical to enhancing those connections. The Daring Way ™ process helps a person re-engage in their lives…to be able to: Show up, be seen, live brave. ™

The context.

D. gave the gift as an expression of his gratitude of his experience of The Daring Way ™.

I asked him how it mattered to him.  What had those three days done for him?

D. works with his hands, a skilled tradesman.  He’s a practical man, who gets things done. The impact of The Daring Way ™ was explained in practical terms–the measurable ways in which his life changed since the course.

He said, “I don’t get angry at work nearly as often.  Things that used to bug me just slide off. What used to really irritate me…little things all through the day…they just don’t get to me anymore. Then, when I get home, I’m more relaxed…and I have more patience for my children. I yell less often, and enjoy them more.”

“You know,” he said, “Guys like to pretend they don’t have any feelings. But, let’s face it, we do. We might not like to admit it, but we feel stuff too.  I talk more about my feelings more now than I used to. It’s like I’ve given myself permission–yes, that’s it–I give myself permission--to tell my wife what’s going on for me. Before, I would just hold onto what was happening for me.  I would wait for the right time to bring it up…which meant that it either happened much later, or not at all. I just find it more possible to let her in on my world…there’s more conversation in the evenings after the kids go to bed. I like it.”

We are offering The Daring Way August 13-15:

• Wednesday 1-5
• Thursday 9-5
• Friday 9-1

Yep, it’s not on a weekend…that’s intentional.  Those summer weekends are precious, aren’t they? Some folks have slower schedules in the summer, or like teachers, even have the time off.

Thanx, D. from all of us at Bergen and Associates.  Your gift of the mirrored logo is featured prominently in our office.

The gift will remind us all to water and feed and grow our spirits.  A shrivelled spirit is so easily short tempered, impatient, exhausted and overwhelmed. It’s scrambling to numb the pain of shrivelledness (my spellcheck insists this is not a word, but I disagree–I digress). An untended spirit doesn’t connect authentically with others. The humor is caustic and cutting.

We all have a responsibility to care and feed our spirits…a full, and nourished spirit engages with the world from a place of worthiness.  Others can feel the generosity of spirit, the ability to engage authentically with others calmly and genuinely. The ability to launch bravely into difficult conversations respectfully and avoid getting triggered by an off-putting line…to stay on topic with the important issues in ways that align with your values. A tended spirit laughs with the joy of being alive.

_{*D. cheerfully gave his permission to share his experience and his gift.}