When I do premarital counselling, I will often ask the couple, “How do you know what you want your marriage to look like? Have you seen what you want to have somewhere? Do you have a couple you want to model yourselves after?”
Often one or both of the couple will refer to their parents. Of course, no one wants a relationship exactly like their parents (that would be creepy!)…but often they have seen their parents live lives together that have shown commitment and collaboration and prevailing through the daily grind and the challenges life has thrown their way.
Sometimes, they refer to a friend’s parents where they have hung out in their childhood, or a favorite aunt and uncle…a couple in their lives who has shown warmth and humor and gentleness and kindness with each other.
Occasionally, a couple refers to Cliff and Claire Huxtable on the Cosby show, or the parents on Family Ties as the only models of a couple who faces problems together, who argue and disagree but find ways of reconnecting by show’s end.
When I saw this video this morning, I was struck how, in only five minutes, I got to know Danny and Annie Perasa in a way that had me feeling like, “This is one couple that anybody would be well to emulate.” Their love is real and quirky and lasting and beautiful and authentically “them”.
I musta looked a little odd sitting in Starbucks this morning swiping tears repeatedly from my face as I listened to this couple…the cartoon pictures make the whole thing terribly endearing, but their voices, they way they interrupt and finish each other’s sentences and complete the other’s thoughts…it was simply beautiful. I love Danny’s “love notes” which are clunky and practical and terribly endearing. He speaks in a gruff tone…but wears his heart on his sleeve.
One would never doubt the love of the other.
So, today, if you’re wondering what love can look like, and how it can sound like, and how it can feel authentic and real, watch the video. Danny and Annie are so not Romeo and Juliet…but even with their humour figures of speech, rough-around-the-edges approach to life, they are one couple that remains growing in their love to the end.
Sigh…this is something for all couples to shoot for!
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