In Da Press…

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned”

Buddha

 

Rod Minaker, our resident anger expert was interviewed by Maureen Scurfield for an article published  in the “On 7” version of the Winnipeg Free Press on “Wrath”.

Identified by Scurfield as a “teddy bear of a guy” (a “bang on” understanding of the colleague we respect and enjoy), Rod’s take on anger is:

“Wrath is a condition of feeling powerless,” says Minaker. “A lot of men cover up their hurt with anger. We need places to be vulnerable, as guys,” says Minaker. We also need places for women to be angry because they cover up anger with hurt.” And, both sexes with repressed anger problems don’t identify the heating anger until it’s boiling out of control.

Minaker’s sessions show people how to identify that anger at an early stage, and gives them the tools to work with it before it blows sky high. Many people voluntarily go on to do one-on-one counselling to work on their issues.

Rod understands that men and women experience and process anger differently. He gets that angry feelings are really hard for anybody to talk about…and he is incredible at supporting people to be vulnerable to do that talking.

It is lousy to have that simmering feeling in the belly or in your chest, to feel it rising and feel out of control. The flushed face, the tension that creates clenched fists or an offset clenched jaw, the raw energy that threatens to explode is tough to feel. It is even lousier to calm down, and to feel shame at memory of the look in the eyes of your wife or your child, as they cringed in terror at you. And the shame is hard to feel, which makes it easy to bark once more at them, finding a way to blame another for your behavior–it’s tough to face what is really happening. Don’t wait until you are mandated to deal with your anger…look at it now. Read a book, talk to someone, get a workbook, take a class…whatever it takes to get you feeling like your anger works for you, not against you. Take a closer look at the whole article.

Let go of the coal.