Beginnings and Boundaries

I can almost smell the fresh wood shavings (off of newly sharpened Laurentian pencial crayons) this time of year as school starts as I remember the years of loving those brand new tall pencil crayons waiting for projects to color. The smell of fresh plastic with the carboflourocarbons (or whatever they are called) wafting off a new pencil case as I loaded and reloaded it with pencils, pens erasers, and whatever else I could fit. Ahhh…the smells of fall.

This week has been the start of new things. Roshonna Plett started with us at Bergen and Associates Counselling. She is an intern from Providence College and Seminary who is doing an SCE (supervised clinical education) with us this year. She will be seeing about 6-8 clients per week. I meet with her for one hour per week as she asks me questions that beginning therapists have. She’s off to a great start. We are fortunate to have her work with us. Her work allows us to offer quality therapy at a reduced rate for clients who are otherwise unable to afford it. I always appreciate the chance it affords me as she presents scenarios, trys out ideas, and challenges me on questions that I have to force myself to think through—it sharpens me.

I was at CMU (Canadian Mennonite University) this afternoon for a couple of hours speaking with the staff of the Outtatown Program, a really cool program that allows students a year of university adventure that challenges body, brain, heart and soul. Students spend the fall learning in Canada at various centers and then leave in the new year for several months in South Africa or Guatemala where they experience the culture, eat the food, live with and get to know and respect the people, and do some work to help out with projects that are ongoing. I work with them as a clinical consultant—the program stretches students to grow. Occasionally, the student can have difficulty with a personal issue. Though the staff is incredibly experienced and well equipped for their tasks, sometimes a conversation with a professional counsellor is helpful and that is where I came in. Today I told them about some basic principals of relating to students in crisis, and how to handle their own souls in the midst of a challenging job that is 24/7. I loved seeing their enthusiasm and energy for what was going to happen in their lives and the lives of the students as they seek the face of God.

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What struck me about both of these beginnings is the questions that people have around boundaries—especially important when starting something off. People who are naturally caring need to ensure that they are helping without taking over. Wanting to do a good job, and not letting the one’s own eagerness get in the way of the client doing good work. Anxious to help a client, and being careful to focus on a client’s issues in counselling, not taking care of her own anxiety. That’s a tough one—we all want to do a good job and see a client really succeed—the temptation can be to overfunction for a client and push them in a good direction to ease one’s own concern for needing them to do well. That’s not fair to the client, nor is it respectfully allowing a client to move forward at their own pace. And the practical questions about sensitively asking about self-harm, allowing a client to get comfortable even if that means allowing the conversation to jump from topic to topic at a more superficial level than we often do. Even how to take care of oneself as a caregiver when one is exposed to difficult painful stories of those we work with—compassion fatigue is something that we need to talk about so that people can be energized for this work in the long haul.

The work of facilitating growth in another is an awesome task that requires continual seasoning and careful care of one’s own soul. Helping others begin well gives me a chance to be reminded of basic core beliefs, theories, and approaches that has me feeling more energized to do the work I do with clients.

I may not be needing pencil crayons or a new pencil case this year, but I am ready for the challenges in a new way!