High school—A retrospective redo of memories

The high school reunion is over…but what fun we had. Highlights from my perspective:

• Major belly laughs. The things we did, the fun we had—from the perspective that the distance of years creates, the antics of youth seem quite silly indeed. There were practical jokes that even now seemed truly clever, but much of it was humourous just in the level of silliness it contained.
• The advantage of years gave us a maturity that we have developed. For me this was most noticeable mid-evening, when classmates began confessing how nervous they were to attend the evening…what should I wear, should my hair be straight or curly—even, “Why the heck am I flying half way across the country to be with these people…am I making a colossal error?” I think the apprehension is normal…but no one breathed a word of it at our 10 year high school reunion. Now numerous people brought it up quite unselfconsciously and those around giggled in sympathetic understanding. There was regret expressed for those who missed the chance to be together because their anxiety had stopped them.
• The sense of camaraderie that developed amongst people that hadn’t seen each other in years…the tables that we gathered around were inclusive—the cliques of long ago didn’t exist. Someone asked where a particular classmate was. Someone still in contact with him said, “I don’t think he felt comfortable coming given how his last year ended.” Funny thing was, no one could remember what he was referring to…we just wished he was there.
• The pain and wisdom that was present in the room…some had lost marriages, some have grieved the death of children. I listened to one fellow describe how he struggled to develop his own sense of self after marrying his childhood sweetheart, never having been a single adult. With love, he said, “She was the bigger person. She understood what I needed and met me where I was at” referring to his wife, as he described his need to express himself in ways which were difficult for her.
• As the evening wore on, there was recognition that many of our laughs had been at the expense of teachers. One classmate who recognized the cost of our fun on the teacher’s souls, expressed regret, and a desire for those teachers to know how sorry he was that he was so hard on them. Another classmate remembered a time he, along with others, took a student to the riverbank and tormented him—that student didn’t return the next year. I remember him as someone who had the ability, with a single icy stare, to make a person feel about an inch tall. He was genuinely sorry, and related how he searches for a reason why he would have been so cruel. He doesn’t understand his bullying, but he does regret it.

The experience was startling—

• much more fun that I was expecting
• much more comfortable that I could have hoped for
• and much richer as lingering concerns and thoughts about high school were addressed in ways which allow for me to reflect and remember those years with a different and more complex perspective. One which has a bigger twinkle in my eye when I think of it.

Thanx to the organizers for the work you did!