A Private Affair: Go for it!!

Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurt past it. (Soren Kierkegaard.)

Read aloud, and tell your partner what you think about what this quote says or suggesting.

A question from A Private Affair

While friendship has been found to be the most vital component to keeping marriage alive and vital, sex is often a part of keeping that friendship fun, interesting, and intimate. The challenge for many is that a sexual relationship is purely physical. People know how to do sex, but not talk about sex…which not only leaves out a really fun part of sexual intimacy, it opens the door really wide to confusion, misunderstanding, and hurt. The relationship goes south, and sex becomes a failure in a relationship, rather than a boost.

Sex can be a wondrous way to celebrate the intimacy in a relationship.

Sex can be a delightful way to enjoy each other.

Sex can be a fun way to aknowledge that the fight is over.

Sex can be a non verbal way of reconnecting after a time of distance or busy-ness

In sum, sex is a way to strengthen the relationship and enjoy each other.

And for many, it is just ho-hum. Or worse.

With no means to do anything about it.

Todd Sellick is a Winnipeg (!) therapist who has collaborated with his wife to produce a game that serves as a tool to open up conversation, create the climate for interesting encounters, and generally provide an opportunity to spice up your sex life.

A Private Affair: The Erotic Game of Secrets, Plans and Promises is a collection of ice-breaking questions that can be used in a variety of ways. One couple on the website writes:

An erotic tonic to twenty-two years of “good marriage.” It somehow gives license to talk about things we’d otherwise be far less likely to talk about, and compels us to relish in it. How very refreshing!!

I have a passion for making good marriages better—this seems like one more tool in the arsenal to make marriages rich, enduring and loving. What a find!! To have a playful, fun way of strengthening the relationship–no books to read, theory to understand, dry standard marriage improvement stuff–just a fun vehicle to spend some enjoyable time as a couple. If anybody is familiar with it, let us know in a comment!