Grace is Hard Work

“We are told that people stay in love because of chemistry, or because they remain intrigued with each other, because of many kindnesses, because of luck. But part of it has got to be forgiveness and gratefulness.”   Ellen Goodman   I saw a couple lately, deeply in love, new again in love, after decades …

Easy Does It

During the recent cold snap, my garage door started acting up. It responded with even less consistency than usual. To get in, we punch in a 4 digit code to get the door to automatically open. When it is cold, it often takes two or three tries. When it is really really cold (as it …

Naming the Elephants

Funny how a person can be thinking of an idea, and then several cool things happen very soon after that enrich and expand the thinking, y’know? I was visiting with some friends lately…and some pretty huge stuff has happened in both of our lives-the same tragic events-we were both devastated by the same experiences. I’m …

More on Double Binds

Ever notice that your style of thinking changes in the shower? I dunno, maybe more meandering kinds of thoughts that allow for ideas to be generated that wouldn’t happen else where? Happened to me yesterday. I was thinking about yesterday’s post on double binds when I suddenly was drawn back to spring days where puddles …

Double Binds

D’ya ever notice how, in the Canadian political system, the “loyal opposition” is loyally opposed to everything? I realize it is their job to challenge what the party in power is doing and keep them on their toes…but this morning on the way to work, I listened to an interview about how the government is …

The connection

“The greatest happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved- loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.” Victor Hugo One of the greatest privileges of working with couples who are in various stages of marital crisis, is the chance to work with them to create an environment where a person …

Celebrating–a time to recapture hope

Gotta hand it to those Americans…they sure know how to throw a party during the Inauguration. I watched some of the highlights on the news and on you-tube–the closing song on Sunday’s concert led by Beyonce choked me up a little and I’m not even American. But what teared me up was that if I …

A Gentle Kindness

I was picking up some supper today at The Greek Market on Corydon. Once I had my yummy lemon potatoes, veggies and phyllo wrapped delights, he asked me, “Is that all?” I looked around and decided to throw in a couple of freshly baked crispy-on-the-outside-but-soft-on-the-inside rolls, explaining that I was going to see a friend …

The other side

Warning: spoiler about Gran Torino movie…don’t read it you’re going to see the movie. I have still been thinking about my last post about the dichotomy between our conscious belief about equality of humanity and actions which suggest an unconscious racism…talking with a friend who is about to enter into a transracial adoption and discussing …

Confronting a harsh reality

There is the way we want to be, the person we portray to others, and that is often the person we believe ourselves to be. We can fool ourselves into believing that is who we really are. I see clients who tell me that they are a certain way–they tell me this with conviction–they believe …